I was in a lot of pain yesterday and I had decided to rest as much as possible. I ended up sorting through a few more boxes, searching for the title for Cody's old car *that I knew exactly where it was* at the old place but can't find it here at the new place. Argh. I made a huge batch of spaghetti for reheating this week... and I made muffins, although I burned the bottoms. My new oven is hotter and faster than I thought.
I started sorting thru the boxes of sentimental stuff - stuff that was in the attic and touched by flames but not burned completely. The charred edges and smell of smoke gives these random items an even greater sentimental value. I found lots of stuff I had written - poems, greeting cards to Robert - I found lots of stuff that had been written to me in cards and letters. Some of this stuff was from my pre-teen years so we're talking circa 1978. I didn't even know I still had this stuff!
My plan is to scan as much as I can and save it to a disc for myself and then pass the originals on to the boys, at least the stuff that is theirs. I've got lots of report cards and class pictures and programs from performances. I've got Cody's scorebooks from his little league games... so much stuff.
Austin's girlfriend, Charity came over yesterday. It's kinda funny... Cody's wife Marquee is a tiny, petite girl. Ryan's girlfriend Sara is a tiny, petite girl, not as petite as Quee but still, she's a little sample of a girl. Charity is Austin's size. She's actually slightly taller. And she had him in a headlock so she's stronger too. She was over for most of the afternoon... and poor Alex next door. He couldn't understand why Austin wouldn't come out and play. He was knocking on our door every twenty minutes... "is he still spending time with that girl? I don't like playing with girls. I only have Sophie to play with and she's boring." He's such a doll... his mom is Columbian so he's got a slightly latin coloring to him with big dark eyes... I bet he will find girls he wants to play with or vice versa by the time he's a teen.
Ok... times flying by this morning for some reason... let's talk about reasons to love Monday:
1. I have lived a CHARMED life. Yes, there has been struggle but God has brought so many amazing, loving people into my life that even when someone says something negative about me, I don't let it penetrate my soul. I know who I am.
2. I got a lot accomplished over the weekend. The more settled I become, the more settled my soul becomes. It brings peace to be in an orderly home.
3. Austin has someone in his life who makes him feel special. She sketched out a bit on Saturday and he was really frustrated. I gave him the whole, "teenage girls are fickle, don't take it to heart" speech and by yesterday, they were back hanging out. It's good for him.
4. School starts back for Austin on Wednesday. His senior year. It was August 24, 1992 when my first baby started kindergarten. If all goes well, May 24, 2012 will be the last day for my last child, in public school. He may (should) go on to further education but for me, I'm wrapping up 20 years of being a slave to the school calendar. I'm almost there. I can see the finish line. AND BELIEVE ME... I will be a tearful mess on Wednesday.
5. Yesterday while looking at our old treasures, I found a photo of Jake McBee... son of my friend Joy and one of the three amigos of Ryan, Brock and Jake. Brock called on Friday for an auto insurance quote... he had an accident in 2004 where his girlfriend died. He spent time in jail for vehicular homicide but his life is back on track now and he sounded so good. He really made my day. Jake was the victim of an accidental shooting about ten years ago and passed away. It made me realize how blessed I am that I have had three boys grow to be men... it hasn't been easy but it has been such a blessing!
6. God is good. He gives me strength. Every now and then I'll get a comment to the effect of how strong I am... reading old letters from 25 years ago, they talked about how strong I was... I think I'm a big pile of jello with a spine in the middle. I don't feel strong at all. But I know that I am a girl who has benefitted by the prayers of righteous people and if I did anything at all, I impressed people who knew me/loved me/are related to me to the extent that they spend time in prayer over me frequently. I am strong only because of the legacy of faith that I'm living.
7. I may just buy a dryer. I found one at Lowe's that can be delivered for a total of $319. I think at the next payday I will be able to spend that amount. I think I can do it myself. The whole drying rack thing is fun and primitive but... it took a whole day to do one load of laundry. I don't have that kind of time.
8. I have an appointment with the pain doctor this week. You may think ... that's no reason to love Monday... but it is. I'm having pain in so many other places beyond my spine. I have pain in my knuckles of my hands... in my mid fingers... in my toes... I have pain in my heels... in my elbows and wrists... it hurts on both sides and it hurts enough that it's a distraction. These pain doctor appointments are difficult to schedule so I'm blessed that I had one already scheduled close to the time these new problems started.
9. Summer is almost over. I hate the heat. These 90+ temps can't possibly last much longer.
10. There may be confrontation today about the situation that happened last Friday at work. I had to defend my actions then but I knew then and I know now that my heart was in the right place and I did what was right. I have confidence because I proceed with prayer. When the bible says to "pray without ceasing", I think it's a little different than wandering around with your head bowed and your eyes closed. I think it's more about keeping the channel of communication open with your creator and living your life in an attitude of submission to Him. I'm not saying that I'm always RIGHT... I'm saying that my intentions are always RIGHT. I know that I am not and never have been motivated by greed or desire for recognition. I have everything I need through a relationship with a living God who meets all my needs - financial and emotional - through His riches in Glory.
I'm not scared of what lies ahead... bring it on Monday! I can handle it!
Hope you all feel a sense of accomplishment because of the life you have lived already... and I hope you feel confident in your ability to handle whatever lies ahead.
Love and hugs, y'all!
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