My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Determined to NOT have a Whiny Wednesday

I feel awful today. My eyes are goopy and my head is pounding and my back is in spasms and I don't want to get out of the nest today. But I will. It's so much easier to psyche myself up for five hours of work in a place I really love than to drag my tired bones in for a nine hour day. That whole "not having to hang around during lunch" thing really works for me. Five and done.

Mom and dad are heading to the mountains tomorrow for a nice long weekend. I'm so excited that they will get to have some time in the house that doesn't involve moving in logistics and with living room furniture. For the first month and a half we just had the outside porch rocking chairs in the living room for seating. Now there's real living room furniture. My next visit will find me curled up in the upstairs nest, closer to the kitchen, instead of my basement nest. Still no tv but honestly, other than football, I haven't missed it.

I have a nice long weekend the next weekend. And then a short weekend up there the following weekend for Sarabeth's birthday, which we are celebrating later than usual this year due to a school holiday (her school friends were going to be out of town on her birthday weekend). She'll be ten. It hardly seems possible.

Austin called yesterday and said they were being evicted - all of them - so he needs somewhere to go. Now, God works in mysterious ways, I know this from my own life. Last week I felt so burdened for this child that I put him on the church wide prayer request list without really listing my concerns, so as not to embarrass him (I do that enough on here).

For three months a piece of my heart has been missing. Ryan and Cody left the nest and went to Mawmaw and Pop's house and although I missed them... and although I wanted something different for them than the path they were on... I knew that they were safe. I have not known this for Austin and he is the least prepared to make good decisions on his own. I have trusted God to protect him but from an earthly perspective, I have not had confidence in his situation. So while I asked my church family to pray for an "unspoken" request, God knew the burdens I have for this child.

So then... he is homeless... and he says, in the way that Austin does, "I need somewhere to put my stuff". And, of course, there is plenty of room at the mountain house for "stuff", however, living at the mountain house is not a good option for Austin (who doesn't drive or have access to a vehicle) because it is so far from town. He would never be able to walk to work anywhere or walk to get groceries or whatever. And honestly, that house is our nice little refuge, not a place that we want Austin to trash with his typical housekeeping unsupervised. And there's a real risk that he would have people over that we might not WANT to come over... and there's a lake... it's just not a good idea.

He hopes to move in with his friend "Fat Pat" but can't until he has a job. I recommended that he come home with us for a little while so that we can help him get back and forth to a job and he can learn to drive and get some form of transportation set up and then get a job up in the mountains and move in with his friends.  He was agreeable over the phone but I don't know how agreeable he'll be once my parents get up there tomorrow and pick him up. At least, at the very least, I would want him to come back with them because I am heading back up there on Thursday evening next week.

So there's that weighing heavy on my heart. And my spine is killing me... it feels oddly unstable today, like I need counter-pressure on it to hold it together. And there's the blurry eyed stuffy head feeling plus a nosebleed this morning. Which makes me feel like this adds up to a Whiny Wednesday... even though I purpose strongly NOT to let it be.

It's all about perspective. I can do this. In less than nine hours I'll be back to my cozy nest. I'll be gaming and  researching to my heart's content. It will be a good day. It will.