My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twas the night before Christmas - State Farm style

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Farm,
Not a claim file was open
No shouts of alarm.

The phone lines were silent
No faxes in-coming,
The desktop workstations
Were peacefully humming*

I was on duty
–Emergency Call –
But I didn’t expect
Any trouble at all.

And since all around me
I heard not a peep,
I soon nodded off
And drifted to sleep.

When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my desk
To see what was the matter

Away down the hallway
I flew like a flash
As if I was running
A 50-yard dash.

I tore into the bays
Trying not to be frightened
As the door slowly rose
My anxiety heightened.

When what to my wondering
Eyes did appear,
But a battered old sleigh
And eight tiny reindeer.

Contrary to logic…
Against nature’s laws,
Standing before me
I saw Santa Claus.

His eyes were all misty
His hair was astray
He said, “Sorry to wake you,
But I’ve damaged my sleigh.”

“I don’t know who did it –
Must have been hit and run…”
(How many times
Have we all heard that one!)

“When I saw the damage
I just about cried,
Until I remembered
State Farm’s on my side.”

“You’ve got the wrong slogan,”
I said with a grin,
“But that’s enough talking
We’d better begin.”

Now pull in the reindeer
And we’ll handle this claim.
So he whistled and shouted
And called them by name.

“Now Dasher, now Dancer
Now Prancer and Vixen,
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner…
Where’s Blitzen?”

Then Blitzen limped in
A tear in his eye,
And I thought to myself…
Aah – PD to BI!!
(sidenote from me- that's property damage to bodily injury)

Then I turned to the sleigh,
Feeling a bit nervous,
And wishing this claim
Could go through Select Service®*

But I picked up my tools
With a glance at the clock and
Heard, “I’m just grateful that I have
A piece of the rock!”

“Wrong again, Santa,”
I said feeling glum,
“But never mind that,
This job’s almost done.”

“On my Christmas Eve travels
I’ve seen many lands,
I’m just lucky I found
The folks with good hands!”

I thought to myself,
“This guy’s really thick.
Whoever said,
He was lively and quick?”

But I said not a word
As I went back to work
And a few minutes later
I turned with a jerk.

“It’s ready to go, Nick,
So hop in the sleigh!”
“Ho, Ho, Ho,” said Santa.
“You’ve saved Christmas Day!”

Then he picked up the reins,
To his team gave a call,
“Now dash away, dash away,
Dash away all!”

And I heard him exclaim
As they rose in the air,
“Like a good neighbor,
State Farm was there!”

The original State Farm version was first published in the Nor’easter in 1980 (a region publication).Authors: Peggy Miles and Beth TiloveChristmas 1980Rochester, NY
*Updated from original version
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