My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Sunday, March 22, 2009

i need a vacay!

Where did my weekend go? Between working yesterday morning and shopping all afternoon (not fun shopping - stressful "have to" shopping)... and then church this morning.... a few hours in between and then Austin's bible drill competition in one short hour... we have just been going nonstop.

I did manage to clean out my closet last night and that felt awesome! My clothes are all neatly arranged and separated. I also cleaned out some relics from my time with Michael that I don't want to throw away but don't want to look at every day. I still had all of our paperwork from our Vegas wedding trip in my lingerie "drawer" -which like everything else around here is really in a rubbermaid container... because I'm stuck in "first apartment" decor still... yet still so glad that it's my place. All mine.

This morning in Sunday school we talked about marriage... ironic, huh? The week I get my divorce papers. I'm in a really diverse group of ladies on Sunday mornings. Some have been married for 50 years... some newleyweds... and me. We talked about how sometimes Christians are justified to leave marriages. My pastor's wife teaches the class... she was very specific that abuse is an acceptible reason to leave a marriage... and she was specific that verbal and emotional abuse is harmful. I have been very careful about how I tell my story at church. I just spoke up long enough to say that there is hope... that God doesn't expect us to stay in destructive situations... and I believe this. Truly God has blessed my separation from Michael.

I have some crazy allergy stuff going on. Everything is in bloom! It's beautiful! I need to take pictures but I have (of course) not had time. My nose is running and my eyes are running and my head hurts.... which is probably part of the reason I feel so overwhelmed. I just want to get all my stuff in order and I also really want to get some rest. Next week is another marathon week. I think Austin and I will be heading home after bible drill. I love my church but I just can't be there for everything. If I did the whole kit & kaboodle today it would mean spending seven hours in church today... I just can't. Some times I just have to be realistic about the fact that I am a single working mother... working six days a week most weeks... I just don't believe that God intends for me to be in church for seven hours on the one day I'm off. I just don't.

It probably was not a great weekend for us to have Devin spend the night (in retrospect). Devin and Austin have a great time together but they're also a two man wrecking crew. I have expended a great amount of energy just getting the house back to "frat house"... it was "post cat five hurricane" when I got home from work yesterday. Austin has done most of the work but he doesn't work independently. It requires constant supervision!

Church was awesome this morning, though. It's always good to be there. I just have to have some balance in my life. Leaving work early on Wednesday to be at church means working on Saturday to make up the time. It's just a lot on me.

I need a wife. Or a handy man. I sent my friend Cory a honey-do list. He's two hours away but he's the handiest of the men I know... he can change the blinds that Austin broke... unstop the toilet that Austin stopped up... reattach the drivers side mirror that got knocked off.... all that sort of guy stuff. With Ryan and Cody around, they could repair the stuff Austin broke. Now that it's just me and Austin... and I'm the least mechanically inclined left-handed person you have EVER met... the to-do list just keeps growing.

Ok... this is just a big old whiny post and I really need to get dressed for bible drill. Love and hugs, y'all. And yes... it's ok to post responses in facebook instead of in here. Love and hugs.


Tina of Moon Shine said...

even if there had been no abuse, Michael committed adultery.

If i lived closer, Ithink I would like that church very much.

I am not left-handed, but I suck at that stuff. take cae

sober white women said...

I need a wife as well! I still use rubbermade containers, and laundry baskets. It is just so much easier.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you left Michael and came to your senses. I was the one you got mad and wrote a journal entry about me because I told you to kick him to the curb a few years ago. Feels good to say Told you so.