I'm alive, Part 2

I've been a bad blogger lately, sorry!
Really, it's good news. I know that in the past when you wouldn't hear from me, it was because I was depressed or because I was on "restriction" from internet or my computer. It's not any of those things.
I've just been busy.
I feel like all I've done this week is work and sleep.
I've squeezed a few phone calls in between but I've ignored more calls than I've answered.
I'm feeling like I'm on a hamster wheel and can't get off.
So many things to do that are just not getting done. There isn't enough of me to go around.
Now... this is not a complaint. My life is full. Happy full. But sometimes I miss working part time! Sometimes I miss having someone else pay the bills. Sometimes I miss having a little help with Austin. Sometimes I miss having Cody and Ryan around to help me deal with things.
Here's my to-do list that is growing and looming like a big hairy monster over me:
get a new battery for my laptop
get my haircut
get Austin's haircut
do my taxes
turn in unreimbursed medical expenses for last year
pay bills (the money is there, haven't written checks)
give this house a good, deep cleaning
get new tires
clean out my closet
put away the last few Christmas decorations
go to the grocery store
get coffee (I've been out for a week!)
fix my leaning tower of Pisa bookshelf
get Cody added to the health insurance
get Austin something to wear for Josh's wedding
get Josh the money for Cody's tux for his wedding
get the oil changed in my car

I haven't read other blogs in two weeks. At least. I need to visit my grandma more. I need to find out what Austin has done with all of his socks. I need to find a shelf sturdy enough for my big tv in my bedroom (which has been sitting on the floor ever since I moved in). And so on and so on.

Today I'm going to try to get in a few hours at work... then go to my grandmother's sweetie's funeral... maybe back to work for a few hours... then work with Robert Drake tonight... work a few hours tomorrow to make up for hours missed... and then try to knock some stuff off that to do list above... then church most of the day Sunday and.... my head is spinning! AND WE'RE LOSING AN HOUR THIS WEEKEND!

The thing is... I feel so guilty about the things that aren't getting done but yet I'm doing all I can. I'm just putting out fires... I feel like I'm not devoting the energy and attention to work that I should... I feel like I'm not parenting the way I should... I feel like I'm shortchanging my friends and family... I feel like I'm missing lots of opportunities around here to be engaged in my community. Natalie invited me to go contradancing again tonight... no time!

So this whole blog entry is just one big whine and I haven't had time to say half of what I want to say! Have to glam and dash... be well!