My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, March 6, 2009

I'm alive, Part 2

I've been a bad blogger lately, sorry!
Really, it's good news. I know that in the past when you wouldn't hear from me, it was because I was depressed or because I was on "restriction" from internet or my computer. It's not any of those things.
I've just been busy.
I feel like all I've done this week is work and sleep.
I've squeezed a few phone calls in between but I've ignored more calls than I've answered.
I'm feeling like I'm on a hamster wheel and can't get off.
So many things to do that are just not getting done. There isn't enough of me to go around.
Now... this is not a complaint. My life is full. Happy full. But sometimes I miss working part time! Sometimes I miss having someone else pay the bills. Sometimes I miss having a little help with Austin. Sometimes I miss having Cody and Ryan around to help me deal with things.
Here's my to-do list that is growing and looming like a big hairy monster over me:
get a new battery for my laptop
get my haircut
get Austin's haircut
do my taxes
turn in unreimbursed medical expenses for last year
pay bills (the money is there, haven't written checks)
give this house a good, deep cleaning
get new tires
clean out my closet
put away the last few Christmas decorations
go to the grocery store
get coffee (I've been out for a week!)
fix my leaning tower of Pisa bookshelf
get Cody added to the health insurance
get Austin something to wear for Josh's wedding
get Josh the money for Cody's tux for his wedding
get the oil changed in my car

I haven't read other blogs in two weeks. At least. I need to visit my grandma more. I need to find out what Austin has done with all of his socks. I need to find a shelf sturdy enough for my big tv in my bedroom (which has been sitting on the floor ever since I moved in). And so on and so on.

Today I'm going to try to get in a few hours at work... then go to my grandmother's sweetie's funeral... maybe back to work for a few hours... then work with Robert Drake tonight... work a few hours tomorrow to make up for hours missed... and then try to knock some stuff off that to do list above... then church most of the day Sunday and.... my head is spinning! AND WE'RE LOSING AN HOUR THIS WEEKEND!

The thing is... I feel so guilty about the things that aren't getting done but yet I'm doing all I can. I'm just putting out fires... I feel like I'm not devoting the energy and attention to work that I should... I feel like I'm not parenting the way I should... I feel like I'm shortchanging my friends and family... I feel like I'm missing lots of opportunities around here to be engaged in my community. Natalie invited me to go contradancing again tonight... no time!

So this whole blog entry is just one big whine and I haven't had time to say half of what I want to say! Have to glam and dash... be well!

6 comments:

moshell's lilbit of space said...

My you are a busy soul aren't you?

Sending good thoughts & prayers your way Heather. Take your time & do one thing on your list at a time, from smallest to biggest. They don't have to all be accomplished in a day.....

Love-M

Estela said...

I think a lot of us are feeling overwhelmed right now. Let go of some of the guilt and get the MUST things done as you can. :)

Peaceful Epiphany said...

WHOA GIRL....
Take a big deep breath....

And praise the LORD that you did not do ONE BIT OF COMPLAINING about MJD!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

Not only that BUT....

LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME!!!

Your life is Sooo full that you have things upon things to do because of it!!!!

You have to find clothes for a wedding of a dear boy that you consider your OWN!

You have to get your haircut because it's down to your BACK! That's totally COOL!

You have to turn in unreimbursed medical expenses WHICH MEANS...you will be getting MONEY SOON! And you haven't done your taxes, which ALSO means you should be getting a tax return!!! See??? All wonderful things to LOOK FOREWORD TO!!!

You have to pay bills, but YOU HAVE THE MONEY IN THE BANK TO PAY THEM! Multiple blessings! :)

You want to clean the house and give it a good SPRING CLEANING and you will do that while cleaning out the closets...it's all part of the decluttering of the mind and spirit...it's a wonderful thing. You can do THAT next weekend or the weekend after that. The one thing about clutter. It doesn't go anywhere. LOL. ;)

I am sure you will find a nice sturdy shelf at a really cool thrift store run and I bet Austin will love to go with you!!

I am SURE you will have a blast working with Dr. Drake (I call him Dr. because when he leaves comments in here I never understand half of what he says...kinda like my doctor. LOL) and I KNOW that you will accomplish what you set out to do.

Hug your grandma, enjoy church on Sunday and remember to cherish the quiet moments, BREATHE through the chaotic ones and PRAISE GOD that you are no longer with the BUTT-WIPE MJD!!!

Hugs,
Jen<---whose duty it was to help you put things into perspective today. ROFL.

Missie said...

We can only do so much in a day. Don't let it overwhelm you.

Enjoy your weekend.

Becky said...

oh, hate the hamster feeling....hate the hamster on the wheel feeling...
I obught REdeeming Love and plan on starting it tonight....

LYN said...

I LIKE THE HAMSTER ON A WHEEL ANOLOGY..I AM SURE MANY OF US CAN RELATE TO THAT..ME INCLUDED..

WHITEYS WAS FUN LAST NIGHT..LA NOPALERA EVEN BETTER...;-)

OFF TO GET MY HOUSEWORK DONE SO I CAN READ BY THE POOL ALL DAY...AH..LIFE IS GOOD...