Thankful Thursday - Weakness

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

A facebook (and real life) friend posted this today and it jumped out at me on the screen and soaked into my heart like water filling a dry sponge. I immediately posted it on a friend's page who is going through an unimaginably stressful time. 

I've been blah-gging about things that don't matter so much, just to be consistent and to let y'all know I'm alive and kicking. I've got a few mother hens that worry if I don't post and I'm grateful! There hasn't been much going on in my life that I think would be interesting to anyone and honestly... I haven't felt particularly profound lately. I've been sort of blah - hence the blah-gging.

But that verse. That very concept. No matter what your concept of a Higher Power might be, the thought that in your weakness, you will receive power in a different way. When we are full of ourselves, ten feet tall and bullet proof, there is only room for ourselves. When we are humbled and brought low and desperate and weary... that is when there is ROOM for someone else to contribute to your life. And as the recipient of much, unbelievable generosity and blessings and love and encouragement that so greatly exceed what I can ever pay forward or pay back or even have words to sufficiently acknowledge... it gives me strength in a way that you can't possibly imagine. 

I want you to know that on this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for the things that make me needy:

I'm thankful that I'm unemployed.

I'm thankful that my spine is degenerating and compressing on itself.

I'm thankful for that stupid f word (fibromyalgia)

I'm thankful for the pain that makes me NEED to pray anytime I do anything.

I'm thankful for the fire that burned our duplex and made us need to move to a cheaper place.

I'm thankful for the men who should have loved me and didn't.

I'm thankful that I was once so distraught that I tried to end my life (and was, obviously, unsuccessful)

I'm thankful for the men who disrespected our wedding vows.

I'm thankful for the thousands and thousands of dollars of child support I never received.

I'm thankful for the weight I've gained and the clothes that don't fit.

I'm thankful for a night spent on the bathroom floor, too sick to move. 

I'm thankful for the nasty way that Austin snapped at me this morning.

I'm thankful that the litter box needs to be changed.

I'm thankful that I have a humble little rolling trashcan of a car. 

I'm thankful for distance, both geographical and emotional from loved ones.

I'm thankful that my mother and I were once distant... and now are reunited.

I'm thankful that I was brought up in a small house with four brothers and one bathroom and most of the time, one tv (a black and white, without cable until I was 12)

I'm thankful for every bill that's been late... every time the power or water was cut off.

I'm thankful that my car was repossessed (and returned, by the grace of God).

I'm thankful for every time the mortgage payment or the rent was late.

I'm thankful for every fight I've had with my kids.

I'm thankful for every friend who ever turned their back on me.

I'm thankful for every bad decision, every wrong turn, every regret. 

I'm thankful for every time I've lied. Every time I've done wrong. Every time I was sinner.

I'm thankful for my uncontrollable, curly/frizzy hair with streaks of grey.

I'm thankful for every bounced check.

I'm thankful for every time we ran out of money a week before payday with nothing in the pantry.

I'm thankful for every tear I've shed, ever disappointment I've felt, every time my feelings were hurt.

I'm thankful... y'all... are you following this? I'm so thankful that my life has been a life of need because it taught me that there is a GOD WHO CARES and who is intimately involved in the details of my life.

What does the Bible say? It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to come to know God. Isn't it true that in our times of desperation we cry out to God? We may not darken the doors of a place of worship for years... we may not blow the dust off our Bibles... we may live like a sinner and act like our own god and yet, in the times of greatest need we CRY OUT! 

I'm going to encourage you to BOAST today about what is wrong in your life. I want to see hands raised and needs acknowledged and hearts humbled... and then, I so very much believe, you're gonna know the love of God in a way that you never have before. 

Happy Thursday, y'all!