My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, November 5, 2010

some deep thoughts...

How do you survive a hurricane in a tent? My heart is heavy for the people of Haiti.
How does Obama NOT get that the majority of the American people disagree with his policies and politics? He's a smart man, right?
My coffee is awesome today. I switched back to an espresso blend and bought a new brand of creamer and it's just been an awesome experience.
The Starbucks has opened in Clarkesville. Much joy!
We have a clean-ish living room and kitchen thanks to Austin's efforts last night. He wanted to earn the right to have spend the night company tonight. Ugh. I agreed. If it means that much to him.
It's blue jean day at work... always makes me happy. I'm such a casual girl.
It's cold today... my thermostat is set on 65 and the heat keeps kicking on.

This week I've come to know someone whose life has been touched by suicide, with a much more tragic outcome than my situation. I realize that God has given me a unique perspective on this subject and I feel the weight of that responsibility. I know more than the average person about what pushes a person to that point... and what could - and more importantly could NOT - have changed my course toward that ultimate outcome. I also know that life and death is in the hands of the Almighty. I don't know why I survived. I do know that He has plans for my life and that every path I've traveled so far in my life has helped equip me for the paths still ahead. It's poignant... sad... but it reinforces to me that it's so important that we keep our hearts and eyes open to reach out to those in our world who are without hope. And it's important that if you are feeling hopeless, that you speak up and speak out and find someone to lean on... find a reason to keep on going... something to look forward to... something to work toward... there's always a solution to every problem in life. Maybe not the solution we would choose... I knew there was an answer for me and I didn't like the answer - to leave Michael - to give up on that marriage - to walk away from those hopes and dreams that I built with him. But it was an answer and for me, it was the right answer. God has blessed the dissolution of that marriage because God never ordained that marriage for me in the first place.

My life from that point on has not been easy. I still suffer disappointment and discouragement. But every single day I find joy in something. I find reasons to celebrate, reasons to keep going. This weekend it will be cool, crisp fall weather... weighing in and hopefully finding reasons to celebrate the number on the scale... smaller blue jeans... fall festivals... friends... family... a house full of teenagers... a new Sunday School class... time change... an extra hour....

Life is good. God is good. and Yabba-Dabba-Dooooo is only ten hours away! woohooo!

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