cloning myself...

I’m feeling sorta stressed and overwhelmed today. There just isn’t enough of me to go around.

I need one of me to work my job full time and have the energy to be an enthusiastic sales person to make the big bucks and be able to keep the bills paid. Let’s call her “Career Woman Heather”. She might even have time for the second job that I’m going to need to pay for going to Cody’s wedding next Spring, car maintenance that needs to be done, school clothes for Austin and so forth.

I need one of me to get Austin ready for school to start back, to break some of the slacker habits he’s developed over the summer, to ride his back until he gets his room cleaned and does the things he needs to do. It took two hours to get his half bath cleaned last night. After that – I was over it. Let’s call this girl, “PTA Mom Heather”. She will be leaving work early today to attend his Open House that is scheduled in the middle of the workday for some stupid reason.

I need one of me to maintain my household… to sort through the stack of bills that has piled up… to change lightbulbs and catch up on laundry and vacuum and mop and replace the blinds at the front window that got broken and look so trashy from the street… to take the cat to the vet and dust and put away those last few Christmas decorations that are still sitting on the bookshelf, to dig out the gobs of toilet paper that (for some reason he can’t explain) Austin has crammed down the drain in the bathtub.. This would be “Happy Homemaker Heather”. She needs to go grocery shopping very soon. The closest I’ve gotten to grocery shopping is picking up veggies from the farm stand.

I need one of me to go to all my stupid doctor appointments, to weather the side effects of medications that are supposed to be making me better but aren’t, to withstand the coughing that is now starting to make me feel like every single one of my ribs is broken and that I’ve ripped my stomach muscles apart, to get the kind of rest I need to shake this bronchialstupidity that is dragging me down. She will also need to go for the teeth cleaning and the mammogram and the counseling that I should have been going to for the past year to help maintain my sanity. She is “Healthy Heather”. She has the time to endure long waits at the doctor’s office… to go back in for blood work and repeat blood work and xrays and CT scans and all the other diagnostic games that I’m having to play lately.

Oh… and it would be nice if there was one of me to handle the self-maintenance – to manage a decent mani-pedi, to get a haircut, to get my brows waxed, to shave my legs and maybe see what a nice hot bath actually feels like. It’s been a long time. Self-maintenance me could maybe handle some social interaction by actually responding to texts, emails and phone calls. Self-maintenance Heather could actually do things like exercise, shop for healthy food, join Weight Watchers and attend meetings… she would be a fun girl, indeed!

Maybe sometime in the next few years we’ll be able to introduce other versions such as Travel Heather, Student Heather and so forth. Right now… there’s only one of me and she just isn’t getting the job done.