My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, July 17, 2009

weekend countdown

Weekend countdown… although I’m probably working tomorrow morning…

The radio is playing, “thank you for being a friend…” I love it!

Seven and a half hours to go… one hour of that is lunch… I’m having a smart ones ravioli dinner and yogurt for lunch. Staying in today. I haven’t been getting in as much bible study time as I would like, I need to stay in and really make good use of my time – to strengthen myself mentally and spiritually.

Ryan is planning to come to town next week… in time for Sarabeth’s baptism! I think everyone will be around to see it. I’ve asked David and Katherine to come but it doesn’t look like their schedule will allow. I grew up in a family where we did everything with the mom’s family and nothing with the dad’s family. It makes me sad sometimes that two of my brothers have raised their families that same way – where their kids hardly know us. It also makes me appreciate my sister in law that much more – and how hard she works to include all of us. It makes me a little sad that some of my nieces and nephews don’t get to appreciate what a really awesome aunt I am. Madie will be two in November and she’s never even met me. I cried when she was born, knowing that it would be that way. My great-nephew Ethan is 15 months old (maybe older) and I’ve never met him. I can’t even remember the last time I saw my nephews Cory and Matthew.

It’s sad. But it really is just like the way I grew up. I barely knew my dad’s siblings until I went to work for his brother. I always worry, being the mother of boys, that life will end up that way for me too. It’s always the father’s family that gets sort of cut out of the picture. My boys haven’t been that close with their father’s mother – but then again – their father has nothing to do with his mother either. I tried in the beginning but she was in a really unsafe situation and I had to pull my kids back away from that. Since their grown, my kids have tried to see their grandmother some but it’s hard because the foundation isn’t there. It’s sort of the same for me. I respect my grandmother and I think she’s a neat person and I wish I knew her better but it’s hard now to try to build something that hasn’t been there before. I guess the point is that you can have a large family but not necessarily have a lot of family.

I need to be doing some hardcore marketing today but I’m terribly unmotivated. I want to sleep.
My cough is better. I’m coughing less and when I cough it’s thicker stuff that comes up. Kinda gross but… that’s the only way to explain it. I’m still really tired. I slept a lot last night. I didn’t even get out of bed until 7 this morning! My hair is still wet (three hours later). I need to make up hours tomorrow but I also need to get some hard core sleep time in so my decision about working will be based on that – how tired I am. I have GOT to get some groceries. I stocked up before I had my wisdom teeth done – that was three weeks ago (that I stocked up – it’s been two weeks since I had my teeth done).

I’m still following Big Brother. I still haven’t bought the live feeds. There are enough recap sites out there to be able to know what’s going on without actually watching it. So far I really like Jordan, Casey, Jeff and maybe Michelle (who looks just like Stank-Eyed Shellie!). I am not enjoying the haughty, loud, obnoxious and rude ones this year – Lydia, Jessie, Russell, Ronnie, Natalie, Chima. I was looking for the token gay guy, Kevin, to be funny. Why is it that we expect that of gay men? He’s not funny. He’s boring and has no sense of style. Laura is audacious. She seems like someone who has been told constantly that she’s beautiful and because of this expects people to just automatically acknowledge her fabulousity. I am not feeling it.

It’s sorta quiet in the office today. Theresa is out sick again. Ginger is back but complaining about her back. I’m just sort of disconnected. I’m not depressed – at all – but I’m in a bit of a “less tolerant” mood, where I don’t have a lot of patience for nonsense. Ginger does this martyr thing where she moans and groans and has all these deep sighs where she wants you to feel sorry for her. She’s missed 30 –something days so far this year- and I can’t even tell you how many half days and how many times she’s left early or taken a long lunch due to her various illnesses. Yet she also takes lots of vacation days. She’s scheduled for one next Friday. I almost didn’t schedule my CT scan that day, to keep from there being two of us out… but she’s out so much that it’s impossible to schedule around her. I got burned on that while trying to schedule time to see the oral surgeon. I postponed my visit because she was scheduled out and made it for a later date – and she ended up calling in sick that day too. I might as well have gone earlier. We can absorb her work fairly easily, it’s a little more for me to do but I can handle it. I can have compassion on people for being sick and having chronic illnesses… I guess for me, it’s just a matter of making adjustments to make sure you’re a productive part of the team when you’re well. If you miss two days sick one week, you don’t take a vacation day the next week. Does that make sense? And if you’re missing three days out of a ten day period, you do your best to work as hard as you can in between. That’s my work ethic. I have no patience for less than that.
*and yes, I realize the hypocrisy in that statement as I am typing a blog entry – here’s my rationalization – I type fast and do everything I do fast – I can hurry up and get a lot done and then have a minute to myself. And my other justification is that doing a few things in the course of the day to make the day go faster mean that I’m more productive the rest of the time. Honest.
Less than 7 hours now.
Austin and all the other Myrtle Beach goers will be back at 6:30-ish tonight. I’m trying to decide if I want to go straight from the office to the church or go home first. Probably I’ll go straight to the church and maybe go walk along the river for a minute. It’s pretty in town. We’re expecting reasonable temperatures this weekend – low 80’s.

Chatted with Whitney in Jacksonville a bit this week. I still enjoy her so much! She and her boyfriend are hosting a housewarming party. They’ve been living together for about a year. I asked when they were going to host an engagement party – she said, “we’ve only been dating 2 ½ years”. Kids these days! I laughed… who am I to make any judgment on when folks should get married? Apparently I am no expert! I know enough to know that I have no business being married.

I realized yesterday that this is the first time in my life – well, since I was a teenager – that I haven’t been in some kind of relationship with someone. Post-first marriage I had a couple of guys in my life, maybe not exactly in the way I hoped but they were there. There was one who was around from the end of Robert until the beginning of Michael. This is the first time I’ve had really NOTHING going on with anyone. I don’t mind it, really. Truly, it would be nice for someone else to pay for dinner every now and then… but for the most part… I really like what I have going on here.

I just spilled water all over myself. Lovely.

I went to dinner the other night with a young girl from the college – Jessie. Jessie really needs to meet and fall in love with my oldest son so that she can be part of our family because I adore her. Anyways… she told me about this website, www.mylifeisaverage.com and it is now on my “must read” list for every day. It’s hilarious.

I put blackberries in my smoothie this morning and that was a huge mistake. I’m finding blackberry seeds in every crack and crevice in my mouth. Ick. Recycling. There are wild blackberries growing in our yard and on the path to Jim and Angie’s house. I didn’t use those. I used canned blackberries. Big mistake.

Six and a half hours to go …
Met with a potential new client. Saving her about $500 a year. She wanted to “think about it”. I don’t get it. I understand when our cost is higher, having to think about whether or not the value is there. It is. We’re the best, no question about it. But when you can get the best for less? What is there to think about?

Lunch is cooking in the microwave. 4 hours and 45 minutes to go.

Had lunch. Stayed at the office for the first half of lunch and then just had to get out for a minute. Went and took a nap in the car, under the shade of a tree. It’s cooled off a little bit outside, there’s a storm coming.

I have another “back of the head” headache. I had a round of headaches mid-June…. Hmmm… wonder if there’s a pattern.

I’m so sleepy now.
There are three and a half hours until the weekend.

I’ve decided to just go ahead to the church after work. If they’re early, great. I’ll be there. If they’re late. I’ll nap.

I have eaten the same thing twice in the past two days: smart ones ravioli Florentine. I don’t much like the sauce, but I like the ravioli. I usually leave most of the sauce.

A/c is on in the office now. I’m freezing again. I keep two sweaters here and keep one on most of the time.

I’m not as sleepy now and there are three hours to go. Chest congestion is back. They called me in a cough syrup that worked like magic and it seemed to be keeping the crud at bay but today I’m hacking up hairballs again. It just feels all icky and thick in there again, like I can’t clear my throat. I hate it. I wish they could take a vacuum and suck all the junk out.
Hot tea. That’s what I need.
Be right back.

Two and a half hours. Chatting with the girls in the office. Well. They’re chatting. I’m drinking my hot tea and trying to loosen things up. In my chest, I mean. I think I’m going to try a hot shower later. I’m trying to think of all the things I did with the boys when they were little and had asthma.

Really. I just want to sleep. I’m tired.
This is such a Seinfeld entry. About nothing. I’ll go ahead and post… have a great weekend, y’all!

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