My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

whiny wednesday but it's still good...

Welcome to Whiny Wednesday... it's raining and my belly hurts and the rainstorms have my arthritis in my back flared up which means the nerves are compressed and the piriformis syndrome is kicking in... so my right cheek (not the one I smile with) is in crazy muscle spasms... my stomach is in muscle spasms because of the other issue and... it's looking like I'm going to need to drive Austin to school because it's pouring rain outside.

Other than that... life is good. Today is payday. I owe more than I'll make but we'll be ok. I'm going to have to sit down and calculate whether or not we can realistically plan to go out of town for Thanksgiving. It's one of those things you sort of get on auto pilot about - "of course we'll be with our family for Thanksgiving" - but when I think about the logistics and what's involved physically and financially... I just don't know that I can drive two hours down and back, even if I split it over two days. My fifteen minute commute to work is uncomfortable sometimes. I don't know that we can afford an extra tank of gas or two this paycheck. I won't have the financial reserve to handle any problems that pop up along the road. My biggest whine (since it's the only day a week I ever complain, right?) is that all the things that I've taken for granted all my life have become really big deals to me. I'm not able to just pick up and go. Maybe that happens to everyone at some point... you lose your spontaneity.

I did say that life is good, didn't I? I really do mean it. While there are little pitfalls and roadblocks along the way... for the most part... I'm able to greet each day with optimism. I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN. Keep moving forward. Every day brings joy, even if it's just a giggle with a friend or reaching a new level on one of my games or cuddling one of my fur babies... or Austin's latest discovery...

Austin said yesterday... "do you realize we actually live ON Mt. Yonah?"... he had a long explanation of why and I'm not entirely sure that's true but the excitement he had on it was precious. He also helped the maintenance man with some... well, maintenance... around the property and got to actually see down into a septic tank. He was hilarious describing the things in it... "party balloons and candy wrappers and... " and the way the dog was licking the grass where the septic lid had been. Rusty is disgusting!

I never get tired of seeing life through his eyes.

He said he is working to have the money to buy me a Christmas present. He said, "you never get much for Christmas and I want to be able to buy you something with my own money". If THAT doesn't bring a tear to your eye. And... that's not entirely true... the past two years people have been incredibly generous. I feel bad because I can't do the things I want for people... but I'm finding some great ideas on Pinterest and I think I might get crafty/motivated. For Austin to have empathy and compassion ...he really is growing up.

The rain keeps pouring and I've got an Elvis song stuck in my head, "Kentucky rain keeps pouring down..." only it's not Kentucky rain... it's Georgia rain. Austin just stuck his head out of the door and said, "can I get a ride this morning?" Sure. I'll have a curly day no matter what I do anyways. Might as well spend my time driving to the other side of the county. Maybe I'll even stop by and get some pecan rolls from the bakery on my way through town.

One thing I have learned over the past ten months since my back first went whack on me... I can do a lot more than I think I can. Even when I wake up in the morning in a lot of pain, most days I can work and more often than not, I'm really glad that I got out of bed and kept moving forward, even when it gets uncomfortable. Life is still good.

I guess that's a pretty amazing thing that even when my quality of life has decreased, it's still a good life. I hope yours is too. *hugs*

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