Early Saturday morning. My most rested and peaceful day of the week. No "pop-up Austin" in the house to interrupt and make demands (which he doesn't do much). Cats not fighting. Bills are paid. Planning a trip to the library and my blood pressure this morning:
153/102
Frustrating. I've been on the higher dosage of my blood pressure for the past month and... still high. I am supposed to call my doctor on Monday with my blood pressure readings for the week so they can decide if they need to change my meds. I'm going to do a little research with Doctor Google this weekend to see what medications might help and have minimal side effects. I'm a walking bag of side effects already. I don't know some days how much of me is true medical conditions and how much of me is side effects.
At any rate... It's Saturday and I have a peaceful, restful, blood pressure lowering day ahead of me. I changed the litter box last night as soon as I got home from work because I wanted to create the most pleasant environment possible for my R&R weekend. The laundry has all been washed... dried... but nope, not folded or put away... what fun is that? If I were to put away the laundry we would miss out on our morning scavenger hunt for clean underwear and stockings. (the underwear for Austin and the stockings for me, just to be clear)
Jim and my red headed girls came to see me at work yesterday. Sarabeth now wears a size 8 shoe. BIGGER than me. It was just a year ago that we were trying to find a pair of tennis shoes for her to wear to the family reunion that ended up being outside and just a tad bit chilly.. and Sarabeth had only sandals... we were trying to use my daughter in law Marquee's shoes because Marquee, if you can't tell from the pictures, is a tiny, very petite girl who wears about a size 4 shoe. Size 4 with six inch heels usually. My feet ache every time I see her. It was only two years ago that Sarabeth borrowed my flipflops after soccer camp so we could go out to eat and not wear her cleats in the restaurant... and it looked like she was wearing snow shoes. Now she's a size 8. I wear a 7 or a 7.5. She's nine years old. Tall and beautiful. She has no idea yet how beautiful she is. She got the lead role in the 3rd grade musical.. she's loving playing basketball... she's just amazing.
I've used this picture before... it's the girls at a wedding... they were, once again, the flower girls... you know that movie, "27 Dresses" with Katherine Heigl? Where she had always been a bridesmaid but never a bride... and had a closet full of the dresses she had worn in other people's weddings...my girls have a closet full of dresses that they've worn in weddings as flower girls. In between them is Jorjanne, who is my niece just as much as Sarabeth and Jamie because she has called me Aunt Heather and loved me just as much - and I have loved her just as much - as I do my biological nieces. God has such a beautiful way of giving us everything that's missing in our lives... I raised three wonderful boys... and now I have a life that includes such precious little girls. (and that's little Laura in the very, very bottom of the photo... her dad, Eric, lived in Jim and Angie's basement when he was in college, post college and pre-marriage, so they're family too, you know?)
My friend Sheree who, like me, had three little boys and who wanted a little girl
A wise older lady in my church once told me that mothers of sons get their daughters when their sons get married and my daughter... tiny petite, beautiful Marquee... is 22 today. Happy Birthday Quee!
Where was I going with this? I guess... if I had to put continuity in this blog entry... it would be to say that my life is a perfect mix of struggle and joy. There is uncertainty in our lives as my health continues to be borderline at best and discouraging at worst... uncertainty with Austin's future after high school... and so on and so forth, in that way that we never REALLY know what lies ahead, do we?But in my life there is so much joy, so many people, both in real life, geographically close- and far away, living mostly in my computer or in my mailbox. I feel so loved! When I pray in the mornings there are sooooo many people that I want to pray for... I run out of time before I get through all of them. How blessed is that to have more people in my life than I have time to bless in the course of a day?
And I love this picture of Marquee and Jamie because it shows a little bit about both of their personalities... Marquee has fit into our family like she was born to it... and she has loved all of my boys, not just Cody... and become the sister that they never had. She is their friend... she keeps them in line... she chastises when needed... and she just completes us. All of us. And Jamie... loves EVERYBODY.
Despite my excitement about having a weekend to myself... I am going to miss running into town to pick up Austin's two bacon egg and cheese McGriddles and large sweet tea. There's not a lot of "mommy" stuff left for me to do. He's relatively independent. Not financially, of course. He can't drive yet. I still have to remind him to put on deodorant sometimes. But as I had his permission slips notarized yesterday so he could go on the retreat this weekend... I realized that this was probably the last time I would ever have to sign for anyone. ever. Bittersweet transition for us. I'm only weeks away from not having any "children"... only adult, fully able to sign for themselves... grown people who came from me... and who will make their own families... and forever be a piece of my heart walking around outside of my body. It gives me chills to realize what a beautiful new season of life I'm going into...Have a great weekend y'all.
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