My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

the past 24 hours....


  • The past 24 hours have been really quiet in The Nest and I.have.loved. it!
  • Don't get me wrong... I miss my Auggie Doodle. I especially missed him when I carried in the groceries.
  • It's just been nice to be able to think in paragraphs instead of sentences. 
  • Austin gets so bored at home and tends to be a little pop-up... bouncing in and out with a quick statement or thought... 
  • He doesn't really *receive* information... with him it tends to be exit only... so I listen... nod or make a quick comment... and get back to whatever I was doing.
  • Makes it hard if you're in the middle of a show, movie, book... makes it hard to keep a train of thought.
  • But that's ok. He's mine. 
  • My blood pressure is lower today but my bp headache is worse. I've noticed... since I've been keeping track of it over the past week (month) that I tend to get headaches when my bp is in the 130's/80's... and when it's in the higher ranges, I just feel really, really sleepy.
  • There's a little bit of blue sky peeking through the tree tops today. It's fairly densely wooded outside my window, beyond my little driveway/parking pad. From the angle of my recliner I can see sky through the top half of the window, between the trees. 
  • It still looks a little overcast but there is some blue. The temperature this morning is 51. 
  • I can't believe it's already February.
  • Yesterday I watched the wedding of Anna Duggar's sister. There's a blog I read about the Duggars and it gave the link for the u-stream video of the wedding. Like Josh and Anna... David and Priscilla had saved their first kiss for their wedding. 
  • It was a sweet wedding. Odd at times... they did this laying on of hands, similar to what we would do in an ordination service... where people stand behind the person and put their hands on them and pray. The odd part... the Duggars were right behind the couple while her parents were off to the side. Y'all know I love the Duggars and don't have the same kind of criticisms that others have about them... but it was so obviously staged for the tv show. The Duggar sound guy was front and center. 
  • It would have been like... if I had my sister-in-law's parents, who I dearly love, don't get me wrong... if I had them have a more prominent role in my wedding than my own parents. 
  • Reality tv would be much better if it was less staged and more real.
  • I also, just for the record, watched an episode and a half of Dance Moms yesterday but it frankly stresses me out so much that I have to not watch. When my kids did dance... there were definitely some INTENSE mothers involved... and the owner of the place where they took dance was... well, she was large and in charge, just like Abby Lee is on Dance Moms. But these women on Dance Moms are, in my opinion, abusive toward the children. They curse and fight and carry on in front of their kids. Abby talks down to them - not in a constructive manner - but in a really mean, hateful way. 
  • I just can't imagine that any tv show, no matter what they're making from it, regardless of any publicity it may gain for them... it can't be worth putting your children through that kind of hurt.
  • I mean... we had some intense coaches over the years with the kids but I was quick to remove my kids from any situation that was harmful to them. 
  • And then, fortunately, for the bulk of Cody's sports career (up until the high school team) he had Barry as a coach and ... I never had to worry. I trusted Barry's intentions with the kids. He was (and is) a gentle spirit. 
  • I'm so fascinated with other lifestyles and careers and circumstances that I can't help myself from watching these shows. It's like... back when I was first married to the kids' dad and we used to drive around looking at homes for sale that were WAY above our budget... just to see how the other half lived.
  • I can't help it. I'm curious. 
  • I will also admit to having spent a little too much time yesterday on the www.freejinger.org website where they discuss Duggar related issues in ... let's just say a less than favorable way.
  • Got a text from Austin, "when are you going to pick me up?" 
  • They're going to Sunday School. I had thought he would want to go to the Worship Service and I thought I might hang out in the crying room despite having a pretty intense headache... but I knew he would be close to his saturation point. 
  • Austin and I both really enjoy being around people but really. very much. need our space. 
  • I told him I'd pick him up after Sunday School. Bless his heart. 
  • I went to the library yesterday and checked out three new books. I'm already reading the autobiography of Michael Oher - he's the guy the movie "The Blind Side" was about. This is the part of the story that the movie didn't cover. Interesting. 
  • I'm also reading a book about life in the 1800's. Is it wrong that I was unfamiliar with a lot of the lexicon they listed as being specific to that time period but I was familiar with the swear words? Apparently I'm fluent in 19th century profanity. Who knew?
  • I'm also, as I've mentioned, doing the Beth Moore bible study on James. 
  • So I've got a lot of reading that I'm doing. Trying to expand my mind. 
  • When I was coming out of the library yesterday... a light rain was falling... and I was carrying my three little books (since I go every Saturday, I don't get many books at a time and ... well, I can't carry many)... I was walking along, humming to myself... the closest thing to a spring in my step that my chubby little self can manage... and I crossed paths with a man, doing the exact same thing... carrying 3-4 books... walking slowly in the rain... humming... and i thought, "that's the kind of guy I need!" one who reads, hums, goes to the library, doesn't mind walking in the rain... 
  • Not that I'm looking, don't get me wrong. I'm entirely convinced and convicted that *this life* is what's meant for me for now. In between my first and second marriages, there was a time lapse of 7 years. The main difference between then and now was that in between number one and number two, I was pretty much always keeping company with somebody in one capacity or another. The past few years have been the most single I have ever been since puberty and I very, very much like it this way. 
  • I had prayed... for so long... Lord, send me a guy or change my mind about wanting one. 
  • Guess which one He did? Gotta love it. There is absolutely no sense of there being something missing in my life. 
  • I think so much of the hurt and heartache in our lives comes from being in the wrong relationship... or from adopting a worldly attitude about who we should be. 
  • The world wants us to believe that we should all have a significant other. What if... just imagine this... what IF I'm significant enough all by myself? 
  • I thought it would be fun if I used the little dots to separate my thoughts on these run on type blog entries. Tell me if you like this format. 
  • I went to the grocery store and bought lots of ready made stuff. Here's my reality: I don't cook. I can. I don't want to and a lot of time I don't have the energy to. I need to be more pragmatic and realistic on what our life is like... not buy up a bunch of food that will go bad before it gets cooked because at the end of the day I'm just NOT Donna Reed. 
  • SO that's it for now. My action packed weekend... library, grocery store... r&r. Hope you're having a good one! 

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