My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

just some stuff

Kathryn Joosten is dead and I don't feel so good myself. (She's the nosy neighbor from Desperate Housewives, if you don't recognize the name. I didn't.)

My cough got better for a day and now is worse. Let me just tell you that if you have chronic back pain and develop a hacking cough that is practically relentless for over a week, it is a whole new level of hell. I don't use that word often because I really do believe in Heaven and Hell and I believe that we can't really comprehend how horrible Hell really is. That's why I used the lower case. It hurts bad, y'all. I have to cough to move the stuff up and out but every cough is like a knife in the back.

And I do know a thing or two about knives in the back. But that's a story for another day. We've had a quiet and terribly unproductive week due to the black lung of death. I'm staring at all my piles of laundry that need to be sorted and my containers that I bought for organizing and... ugh... it could quickly overwhelm me but I won't let it. I paid the June rent today and gave my 30 day notice. One way or another, we'll figure out how to get this place packed up and cleaned out in the next four weeks. I mean, if the restoration company could do it last summer after the fire in less than a week, I can do it, right?

I grew up in a modest house in a quiet little unassuming neighborhood. Not one of those country club neighborhoods with a pool and a tennis court. Just a little brick ranch house built around 1963. The little girl who lived next door has a blog about the house that she is building in Memphis and it's amazing to see how far she's come from that little ranch house next door to ours. It's kinda like the house that my aunt and uncle bought after living in the same nice little two story for about thirty years... now they have this really beautiful home tailored to their specific interests (he has a photography studio with a printer the size of a tanning bed and she has a fabulous doll room, complete with the biggest sharpie collection in the world for making her homemade paperdolls that she gives away at the food pantry where she volunteers). My parents still live in their modest little ranch house and fortunately, there's room for me and a kid and two more cats. They'll upgrade eventually. Soon. Right now I'm feeling a little relief at not having to be the chief of my little wigwam for now. It's been a rough past 12 years as a single mom, the last six in particular. I'm willing to share a bathroom in order to get a little break.

It did make me a little sad to give our notice here, though. I have loved this little shady nest the best of all the places I've lived... my huge bedroom with the huge windows looking out into the woods...

I was contacted by a local agent this morning who is interested in my resume. I mean, it's possible that I could find a job here, or at least close to here, but the truth is that it's going to mean a whole lot more of what I've been dealing with over the past year or so in being so wiped out from the pain that I can't function as a mom or sister or friend or human. I'm still a pretty good cat parent. I may be an even better cat parent now because what cat doesn't love having a warm body to curl up with every day? But as far as being able to work full time and maintain a household by myself... that's not happening. I'm happy about my decision, I'm just overwhelmed at the process.

Anyways... we've just been curled up in the nest coughing our fool heads off over the past few days, doing our best to just stay hydrated and eat a little something. Yesterday I grilled porkchops on the George Foreman grill, cooked rice pilaf in the rice cooker and did some frozen veggies in the microwave. We really could live in a hotel room with a kitchenette! LOL! Today for lunch we had McDonalds. We tried to go to the bakery to get sandwich-y stuff but the bakery was PACKED! I usually get up and run errands before the day trippers get to town on pretty days. I missed the boat this morning because I was up most of the night last night coughing. I'm hoping I'll catch up on sleep because I want to at least go for a little bit of Vacation Bible School this week, just to pop in and say hello and take a few pictures. Our babies are growing up.

Wednesday is Austin's dentist appointment and then after that we'll head to the Southside. I have the *big* job interview on Thursday. After that, depending on how well we all are, me and mom may try to take the road trip to Nashville that we had planned for this weekend. After that... hopefully... I'll be working, at least part time. ANd we'll have to pull together the great move over the weekends.

Anyways... anyone who isn't busy and wants to help me pack... feel free to come hang out! I'm five days past antibiotics so I shouldn't be contagious.

Hope you're all having a great weekend! Love and hugs!

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