My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

heavy heart tuesday

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... I hope.
I went to bed early last night. I had eaten a pluot (cross between a plum and apricot) and had an allergic reaction... tongue swelling, sores breaking out in my mouth and down my throat IMMEDIATELY... it was no kind of fun. I took benadryl and it knocked me out. I have the same reaction with pineapple... this morning I'm fine, just dealing with the sores in my mouth and throat.
Why do I have to be such a freak of nature with things like this?
This will, of course, modify my usual diet of tomatoes and vinegar based salads. Ouch.

Couple of people heavy on my heart this morning... my friend Dean - whose wife cheated with my husband, forever bonding Dean and I - is having major custody issues with his kids. His ex-wife has been relentless in her demands for money and compliance with their custody agreement and as a result he has not been able to see his kids in the past five months. Her evil plot... no doubt coming from the source of all the evil that befell me, he who won't be named... no doubt is to be able to finance her new lifestyle with her beloved tax evader, deadbeat debtor (aka my ex-husband) while pushing her childrens' father out of the way. Once again, I thank God that I have no ties to this man that require me to have any interaction with him but my heart breaks for the destruction that he continues to inflict on Dean's life. I try to encourage Dean as much as I can, although it truly pains me to have to give any thought to anything my ex-tormentor is involved in.

I have another friend who I've mentioned before who has really suffered at the hands of the man she married. He has gone so far as to punch himself in the face and then call the police on her to try to have her arrested for domestic violence. Fortunately, the police noticed that HIS knuckles were red and hers werent. Fortunately she has gotten some distance from this guy... but she's in that painful time of adjustment where she's relieved to be away from him but really suffering from the financial interruption. Transitions are hard, my heart breaks for her. Her husband, like my ex, plays the exasperating mental game of spoiling you rotten with gifts and trips and a fabulous lifestyle and then jerks it all away when you don't completely conform to his demands. Also, like my ex, hers justifies his own infidelities by trying to paint her as unworthy of his affection. It's heartbreaking to watch, both because I care about her and don't want her to suffer and also because it makes me remember what I went through.

There's a lot of evil in this world... but there's a lot of good too... and those who see the worst in humanity, have a much greater appreciation for the good things, even things as simple as a beautiful sunrise. I would never choose to go back in time but I'm so grateful for the wisdom and peace I gained. I pray this for my friends who are suffering now... that it builds in them a greater strength of character than they would have ever known without going thru these times.

Also in my prayers today is my co-worker T and her family. Her dad is facing major heart surgery this week - possibly tomorrow. There's a lot of uncertainty, a lot of concern not only about his prognosis but also his quality of life. The family is gathering from out of town and preparing for a vigil. These are tough... and put a lot of strain on everyone involved. Her health isn't great, she has some chronic conditions that can take her out of commission without warning and stress aggravates those circumstances. I know you guys are faithful prayer warriors so I ask that you keep T and her family in prayer.

Is it only Tuesday, really?

I'm reading an interesting book, Fat Land, about how America came into such a huge problem with obesity. It goes into the politics of our food supply. I hate conspiracy theories about anything because they seem so... well, paranoid. I refuse to believe that anyone is that diabolical as to intentionally condemn an entire nation to poor health... however... I do believe that we've failed as a nation to really think about what's in our food and where our food comes from. Look at this whole egg crisis... have you ever thought about where your food is before it is in you? To some degree.... there are things that are truly unappetizing about farm life that are completely unavoidable (things like manure, for instance... necessary to make things grow but really unpleasant to witness). But there are some other things that happen to our food that God never intended for us to ingest.

My goal is to eat a clean diet as much as possible. The fewer ingredients in the things I eat, the better. The more I know about where my food comes from and how it's prepared and what it's exposed to, the better able I am to avoid illness/obesity. Sometimes that means a little extra work in food preparation and sometimes it means a higher food cost - although to be perfectly honest, clean eating has been cheaper for me than eating out and eating processed foods. But if clean eating saves money in lost work, health care costs, etc... then it's totally worth it.

Bitty Kitty is crying because Austin left for school. He's at the window watching for him. So sweet/sad.

Time for me to glam and head to the office. Happy Tuesday, y'all.

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