lots of good stuff

Why is it that every time I sit down to type a blog entry, the first thing that pops into my head is, "wow, what a day!".

Isaiah 52 rocks. More about that in a minute.

Today was payday. I took care of some things that were really hanging heavy over my head. I'm broke until next payday *grin*... but I'm not stressed. Today.

My wisdom teeth will be taken out on June 4th. One was bad enough that the health insurance will cover it. The other three are covered under dental insurance. Even though I have an insurance license, I don't quite understand how that all works. All I know is that *fortunately* my health insurance will cover the sedation and all that stuff which is really expensive... so my out of pocket isn't too bad. I will need to bank some comp time between now and then so I'm not missing out on income.

The real problem is not the day to day expenses for me. It's the fact that I don't make enough money to pay my bills and have anything left over for anything the least little bit beyond. There's no savings. No credit cards. No retirement. That's what gets stressful. When the money is gone, it's really gone.

BTW... thanks for the offer of a "Save Heather" fundraiser, Robert. I have visions of my smiling face scotch taped to a mason jar on the counter of a seven-eleven store *laugh*... I think the real issue is not ME and my constant budgetary shortfall, it's ALL the single moms/underpaid/working poor around us. Seriously. If anything, I would support anything that helps the working poor. People who just need a hand up, not a hand out. I am good at what I do. I work hard. I am just underpaid. I fall in between... I make too much money to qualify for any "handouts" but I don't make enough money to get by. It's frustrating.

But I did have a great chat with Duane last night about the stress situation... and we talked again this morning... he's going to change our bonus structure so that I'm getting bonus for more of the stuff I do... and our office structure is going to change a bit so that I'll be able to do more agent stuff and less receptionist stuff... and we're going to sit down on Friday and talk about my base salary. The thing is... I don't WANT a handout... I want to be paid what I'm worth. I'm good at what I do, I'm well trained, I'm a valuable employee. Duane reiterated that to me today, which was nice. And seriously, anything helps.

The cool/God part of that is that last Thursday night when Angie and I sat and talked at North Georgia BBQ and I just boohoo'ed and had a complete emotional breakdown... one thing we agreed to pray about was that Duane would increase my salary. It ain't done yet... but it looks positive. I'll tell ya... having a sister (not sister in law, she's a real sister to me) who will let you get all sobby and snotty and pray with you specifically .. that's a huge blessing.

Having a boss who asks sincerely, "what can I do to help your stress?" and responds when you answer. That's a huge blessing.

I wrote on my hand today, "Isaiah 52:2"... the cool/God part of that... this woman came into my office this afternoon - a divine appointment - and she shared a little of what she has been going through: heartbreaking divorce, financial struggle, issues with her teenager - seriously, how did she end up at MY desk? And she asked what the reference on my hand meant. I told her that was my verse for the day. Here's what it says:

Shake off your dust;
rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem.
Free yourself from the chains on your neck,
O captive Daughter of Zion.

Good stuff, right? Let me give you the Heather translation:

Get your pouty butt out of bed. Realize who you are - get on your throne, Princess! Realize that you're not a prisoner.

She said, "Oh! That's MY verse for the day! I think God meant for you to share that with me!" She had just come from the courthouse where she had been dealing with a child custody issue. I gave her the index card that I wrote the verse on. She asked me to sign and date it for her.... like an artist.... *grin*... my handwriting is pretty cool... and I used a pretty blue marker.... but the real work of art is how God weaves these kind of experiences into our lives. And that warm, fuzzy feeling wouldn't have happened if I hadn't had a time of trial... and if she hadn't had a time of trial... how many things happen so that we will know that He is God?

Austin is cooking dinner - french fries. We're skipping church tonight because my class isn't meeting - my leader is at the Tea Party in Atlanta. And it was spaghetti night. God bless the sweet ladies who fix our Wednesday night meals. I just really don't care for the spaghetti. I'm not sure french fries are a more nutritious option... I'll fix something else to go with it.

Anyways... I share my down in the dumps moments with you so that I can share the good stuff too. Today was lots of good stuff. Love and hugs, y'all.