My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Monday, August 24, 2009

not me Monday... Whiny Wednesday two days early

Had to be at work early today for staff meeting.
Have to be at work early tomorrow for a class.
Had lunch brought in today.
Have lunch provided tomorrow at the class.
Two early days – two days free lunch. Life has a way of balancing out.
Lots of calls today. Been busy.
Still battling Austin regarding chores. I’m not really mean. I just expect him to clean up behind himself and take out the trash. It’s not hard. He just has decided that he doesn’t want to do it.
Part of it is being glued to Tasha every waking moment.
I’m glad he has friends, really, I am. He just needs to keep things in balance. Austin’s never been good with balance or boundaries or perspective. That’s my job.
He threw such a tantrum yesterday… complete with kicking, screaming, crying… I have to admit, he did his Drama Mama proud. What a show! Oddly… I watched him thinking I had missed something. It was so out of context… the amount of effort he expended trying to get out of doing a little bit of stuff.
I also have to find time this week to file abandonment charges on the kids’ dad. I don’t want him to go to jail but he’s not going to pay until he is forced to. I’m not willing to absorb his financial responsibility for the next three years. He owes soooo much money already. I complain about it a lot. It’s a problem a lot. If he was doing ANYTHING to help… it would be different. Austin’s seen him twice in the past year. How do you have children and just ignore them?
Little wonder Austin is unconcerned with consequences. Or perspective.
It’s ten dollars to file and means a trip to the courthouse. It will take forever for them to do anything, which is why I can’t wait to do it. We’re already six or seven weeks with zero . I don’t expect to see any money from him before December. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to absolve him of responsibility. I wasn’t some one night stand… I was his wife for sixteen years… this is his kid. And despite him being a royal pain right now… he’s a cool kid. For a brat.
I got a great little pick-me-up in the mail today from Whitney… she made a fancy little sharpie drawing of my name on cardboard… it made me smile.
Is it hypocritical of me to be aggravated that I had to interrupt my entry to answer the phone because someone was on a personal call. Oh yeah. I’m doing something personal too.
It’s been a long day. Miles to go before I sleep.
We had Kentucky Fried chicken today for lunch. When I first typed it, I wrote “Kentucky fried children”… which made me laugh. Good times. We had the grilled children. Um. Chicken. And all the heavy, starchy, greasy sides. After the donut I had for breakfast… I think I’ve broken every good nutrition rule in the book today. I’m probably not sleepy so much as I’m in a carb coma.
I just re-read this entry and realized I’m complaining a lot. I’m going to work on that.
I have some phone calls to make today… I’m going to close my office door and make those calls and the next two and a half hours are going to just disappear! And then I’ll pick up Austin… and we’ll go home to our happy little house and everyone will cooperate and be glad to do whatever they can. And we will live happily ever after.
I just remembered I have pink cookies in the office fridge that I was going to share with Sarabeth today… I think I’ll have one.
I started my day feeling a little stressed out… I had some weird dreams last night… things about Bryan and Candice having a blonde, blue-eyed baby… which would never happen for a number of reasons but in my dream the baby was highly intelligent…. Actually, when you dream about pregnancy or babies it has something to do with starting a new life and they’re buying a new apartment that’s in a fabulous location so maybe that’s what that’s about. I also dreamed that I was depressed and Angie took me to the spa to make me feel better… and they served us chicken salad…. And my old friend Scott was the masseuse. While we were at the spa, waiting on Sarabeth and Jamie to have a pedicure, my mother-in-law (the second one) showed up and we had a lovely time. Crazy stuff.
This is not the best blog entry I’ve ever written. Oh well. Life is good. God loves you. Have a great day. Love and hugs.

3 comments:

Barbara said...

you asked how can you have children and ignore them? If you ever figure it out let me know OK. My kids dad ignored them constantly.
It amazes me how many people spend more time getting out of doing something than it would take them to do it. It is good for Austin to have someone make him do what needs doing even if he doesn't like it and it's hard on you.
Hang in there, you are in my prayers.

Missie said...

Have a good week!

moshell's lilbit of space said...

My professor told me (us-the class) that it is a HUGE sin to have children and not have anything to do with them.

It isn't just you either Heather, it is 42% of males that do that.

Sending prayers up my friend.....