My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mondays worries give way to Tuesdays troubles...

It's after 7. I usually start writing before 5 am but not today. Today... I've just been sort of selfishly wandering thru cyberspace. Not that I consider my blog entries self-LESS, by any stretch. If it ever felt like a chore, you can be sure I wouldn't write. It's just... me talking via a keyboard. And so far this morning I haven't had much to say.

Yesterday I had two major concerns ... one, my doctor appointment and two, the lack of child support and our dwindling bank balance. The doctor appointment was cancelled because Dr. Parker's baby was sick. She called in a prescription for me and referred me to a specialist. Based on my description, she thinks that I will need surgery. Good times. Nothing like heading into the holidays facing hemorrhoid surgery.

This blog just writes itself sometimes, doesn't it? Show of hands: how many of you grimaced at that last paragraph? I should be more embarassed about sharing these sort of details but... it's the real deal. You should know that I'm writing under great duress.

But I digress. On to the second concern... I got child support yesterday. Not everything it should have been but enough that I can take care of one bill that was haunting me and still buy groceries.

Interesting... less than 24 hours later... the two biggest fruits on my worry tree have been picked and eaten. So to speak. It's done. Well... at least the part of having to suffer at the hands of my primary care doctor who wasn't going to be able to do anything for me more than what she ultimately did... call in a prescription and give me a referral.

Every year takes on a theme, of sorts, in my mind and this year will be remembered as the Year of Pain. 2010 was a Year of Weight Loss. 2009 the Year of Coughing. 2008... the Year I went from Hell to Helen. And so on, you get the point.

I am always amazed, though, when I get through a day like yesterday. Not because it was difficult, but instead because it was so flawlessly easy. I didn't go hungry. The pain didn't bother me until very late in the day. I didn't have to miss hours from work. It didn't shape up to be any of the things I thought it would be.

Of course, I've had a string of very decent Mondays followed up by very trying Tuesdays. Hopefully this week this will not be the case. I'm in pain today already. I'm having very unpleasant muscle spasms. Austin is still very sick with his cold/upper respiratory stuff. I'm tired... very tired... like... effort to move kind of tired. But I have to keep going... so I will.

So that's it, y'all. Life is made of days that you think you'll never get through... but you do. And I will. You will too. Face your fears. Push on through. Believe that there are blessings ahead. Know that it's just a matter of taking one breath after another...

love and hugs...


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