whiny wednesday

Wednesday. *deep breath* It's Wednesday. Yesterday was such a crazy, demanding day that I feel like I should get credit for at least two days from it. It was a long day. Darby used to say that every day is the same length... *eyeroll*... and while that may be true in a literal sense, there are definitely days that require more out of you. It was one of those days at work where I felt like I was the only one who was handling/could handle a dozen different issues all at the same time. I can't go into specific explanations due to confidentiality issues... but suffice it to say... the work load wasn't balanced yesterday and I felt it from the pain in my brain to the muscle spasms in my back to the pain in my feet. I was nearly in tears... but I didn't have time to pee, much less cry.

Trouble's new perch: the kitchen window

And then I got home and Austin met me in the driveway with a pizza coupon wanting me to drive into town to get him a pizza. Mind you... he had not YET done the dishes that he was asked to do on Monday afternoon... but he wanted what he wanted right then. I gave him a piece of maternal advice, "make sure that before you ask for something special out of someone who has worked very hard, that you at least show the minimal amount of effort to do what they have asked you to do". Mercy. 

I had a bowl of soup for dinner. I don't know what he had ... there's plenty of food in the house. No pizza but... too bad. I was asleep not long after 8pm. Blissful, restorative sleep. 

I have the sleep study rescheduled for tomorrow night. I'm really not happy about doing it. I really don't WANT to do it. It's part of the standard work up for the fibromyalgia stuff and I totally resent the diagnosis and all that goes along with it. I'm told the correct way to consider it is "fibromyalgia syndrome" that includes several symptoms and disorders and that it's best to eliminate and/or treat as many of those as possible, even though there's not a true CURE for it. My deductible is paid for this year... it's best to take care of these kind of pricey tests when the financial impact on me will be the least but... geez. I can't even tell you how very much I don't want to do it. I don't sleep well away from home. I'm not scheduled to be at the test center until 9:30 and I'm usually asleep long before then... I don't like the idea of being out of my normal morning routine and the last thing I want to do is deal with a commute home before work on Friday... I'll be tired, grumpy and miserable on Friday at work... and chances are good, based on Murphy's Law, that I'll have another day like yesterday where I spend waaaay too much time trying to connect the dots, read between the lines, solve problems and deal with unhappy/demanding clients. 

Have I paid enough attention to Whiny Wednesday? I really want to get it all out of my system so I can have a good day. I left a half dozen things halfway done at work and need to go in all clear headed and focused. I've got to get the blues, despairs, agonies and miseries out of the way before then. When I get bogged down in busy work it's hard to put any cha-ching in my day. Frustrating. 

Ok... mood swing... we filled out the paperwork yesterday for Austin to qualify for Vocational Rehabilitation through the State. This is incredibly important for him... there are certain behaviors and attitudes that are expected of people in the work force and a lot of these things are not instinctive in people with autism. He's smart but he's not intuitive most of the time. This program will give him more of an even playing field for entering the work force. It will also provide funding for technical school and/or college classes that will help him become a contributing member of society. I am excited and relieved about this program... takes

I've been pretty outspoken about my disdain for government handouts. I believe there are good programs out there, programs that give a hand up not a hand out. From what I can tell, this is a hand up. Businesses are given tax incentives to employ people who will need a little extra training or understanding... the jobs already exist, it's just a matter of filling them with a person who would otherwise clog the welfare rolls. Creating temporary jobs that are dependent on government funds... bogging down jobs in more bureaucratic red tape than actual salaries to a real person... when we start looking at spending billions of dollars to create a handful of jobs... unsustainable employment... I don't understand how that makes sense to anyone. Empower people to earn a living. Reward businesses for creating jobs, don't penalize them with extra expenses, taxes, obligations that prevent them from hiring. Avoid passing legislation that eats away at profits for private businesses. I'm just a simple uneducated girl living paycheck to paycheck and it seems so simple.

I'll always go back to one of my fundamental, core perceptions: if you give a man a fish, he eats for a meal. If you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. 

Another mild day on the calendar... perfect fall weather. I'm gonna get my head straight, get my glam routine started and get out there and earn a living. Love and hugs, y'all!