My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Saturday Recap

There's a pot of chili bubbling on the stove and cornbread baking in my iron skillet in the oven... enough time for me to do a quick blog post. Maybe.

It seems like everything that's wrong with me is flaring up today. So glad this is a weekend day and not a work day. My piriformis syndrome - that's the nerve that runs down your rear end - it's majorly inflamed. I'm having to sit on a mountain of pillows. My arthritis in my hands is bad today... struggled to open the cans for chili, had a hard time cracking the eggs for the cornbread... couldn't tear open the package of chili seasoning. It makes me feel so freaking disabled. *pout* My spinal stenosis is flared... I will spare you the details of how I know that... we'll just say that some bodily functions don't function properly when the nerves are compressed. I went to the Dollar General this morning and had to lean heavily on the cart to walk. Just really weak, like my legs couldn't hold me up. I have a doctors appointment Monday to discuss some of the things that aren't working right. They couldn't fit me in any earlier, I called last Wednesday.

Austin is terribly sick... really bad sinus infection/upper respiratory infection/coughing/snotty kind of misery. He's pitiful. I haven't wanted to ask him to help like he normally does because he feels so rotten... but he did help me with the dishes that were too heavy for me to lift, took out the trash, carried in the groceries, etc.

Incidentally... shopping with Austin the other day reminded me of something my mom used to say when we were grocery shopping... she'd say, "I have to push the cart or I can't think"... truthfully, she probably just didn't want us knocking things down or running into people. Because when Austin pushes the cart I'm a nervous wreck. It doesn't help that he loves to do wheelies with it. He's almost 18. Mercy. What will happen when he actually DOES have to push the cart?

I just turned out what might be the prettiest pan of cornbread I've ever made. Letting it cool with a pat of butter melting in the middle. Mmmmm.... can't wait! Lifting the iron skillet is also incredibly difficult. No strength in my hands. I struggled to lift my coffee mug this morning. What happens if this progresses?

Went to refill one of my very necessary meds today. It's one that... without it.. I can barely function. It was out of refills. Grrrreat. No exclamation point.

Are you getting the impression that I'm having a little bit of a pity party today? Maybe just a little one. I'm definitely feeling afflicted today. Uncomfortable. Didn't sleep well last night. Tried to nap today and couldn't. Had Austin begging me to take him to the game store so he could get a power cord that makes the out of date game system that someone gave him work. Of course, once we agreed on the power cord, he all of a sudden had a need for another game or two.

I hate having to say, "we can't because your dad didn't pay child support and we're down to the bounty of the pantry again for the next week"... but it's the truth. Our limitations right now are not because I'm not working and not doing the right thing. I'm working hard to catch up all my random little balances at various doctors offices. I'm paying off the radiologist with the next paycheck and whittling down what I owe Northeast Georgia Medical Center. After the collection company threatened to sue me over my tiny little $75 balance at the neurologist, I decided I need to be more responsible with these things. Wish his dad was a little more responsible. Austin is a blessing to me and I'm glad he's with me... but he is a huge responsibility and a huge drain on my resources.

But I have been saying to Austin... "I made x dollars this payday... rent is due, the power bill is due, I have to pay this and that and the other thing and that leaves us x amount until the next payday". I think it's important for him to understand how to budget and to realize that our resources are limited. He'll be an adult soon.

Those of you who are long time blog readers will remember Hottie Heath who was such an incredible help to me when I was trying to move out of the trailer. He did what my boyfriend/future husband refused to do... which should have been a red flag but anyways... that's in the past. I found out yesterday that Heath has colon cancer and the chemo is leaving him really weak. Such a big strong strapping fella... it breaks my heart.

Dinner's ready. Hope you're having a great weekend. I have some beautiful photos to share... maybe tomorrow.

Love and hugs, y'all.

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