My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Monday, October 26, 2009

feeling green... and it's not what you think!

The views here in my little corner of Georgia are always beautiful but there’s no time more scenic here than the fall. I sat in the Sonic drive-in on lunch gazing out on some gorgeous color and I had an epiphany. During the summer, the trees all look the same… at least they’re all in the same basic palette…. But always, underneath, lies that beautiful, different, unique and glorious color below the green. Their true beauty – their greatest beauty – lies hidden until the time in which God decides to reveal their splendor.

Do I need to make the practical application for you or can you make that leap on your own? Who you are, your greatest beauty, lies within. If you’re feeling lost in the crowd of “green leaves” just hang on… for soon autumn will come.

I’ve been in a quiet, reflective, nesting sort of place lately. I’m not unhappy. I feel tired and spread a little too thin. Some of the things that I battled a year ago, I’m still battling and that gets tedious. There are times I wonder if this is as good as it gets. And other times I am so grateful that it’s this good when I couldn’t have imagined this kind of independence just a little over a year ago. And there are times that I’m frustrated in thinking that I SHOULD be satisfied in what God has done in my life… and times that I want so much more. Is it a sin to want more? Is it wrong to just want to sit and soak for a bit? I’m not sure.

Either way, I’ve just felt like being alone for a bit, as selfish as that sounds. I don’t want to make small talk. I don’t have the energy for deep, thought provoking debate. For so many heartbreaking months in Jacksonville, God just kept speaking to my heart and saying, “Be still”…. And when I argued with Him that He didn’t understand how miserable I was and He said, “be still and know that I am God”. And I think He’s giving me the same advice now… that it’s ok to be where I am for a little bit. It’s ok to not have huge ambition or long term plans. It’s ok to rejoice in being green… because in the right time, autumn will come.


Missie said...

Great mind provoking entry. Have a good night.