My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, October 23, 2009

weekend countdown

Days like today I’m glad I don’t live in the Atlanta metro area… and that I’m not having to deal with a commute, other than the little bit of traffic that backs up at the four way stop sometimes when folks are selling boiled peanuts. For the most part, it’s me, the cows and the big open sky. Today that sky is really dark and grey, but that’s ok. I love the mountains! Still!

I fell asleep on lunch… in my car… parked in the Walmart parking lot… after eating a totally unappetizing and nutrient devoid taco supreme. My diet is horrible. I’m definitely going to have to do better. Plan better. I just crashed… I was so sleepy and the rain was falling softly and the temperature was mild without being cold. Great sleeping weather!

Today (so far) has been really quiet. We have a full house staff-wise, other than D – who is out until Wednesday. We usually get a little hectic on Friday afternoons when folks get their paychecks and come to settle their bills… so that rush may happen soon… but right now it’s slow. Mind-numbingly slow.

(thirty minutes later) I’ll take back that last sentence. I just spoke with a client who had damage to her home that was, in large part, not covered by insurance because it was wear and tear on the home. She wanted someone to vent her frustration on and I was the unlucky sucker who answered the phone. I want to be empathetic. I understand that people are conditioned to believe that they are being ripped off… and that they believe that if they just yell at the right person they’ll get more money… but when I have someone tell me that they make $150 an hour and that I’m wasting their time by *making* them have to deal with a situation… in their own home… that’s not covered by their insurance policy because it’s pure maintenance… I want to say, “If I made $150 an hour then I wouldn’t be on the phone arguing with a insurance rep about something that will cost less than a day’s salary to repair”.

Anyways… I watched Oprah’s special on how women around the world live. It was interesting to me that in all the cultures they examined, women did not work – and if they did work – there was extended family to assist with the children and the chores. I have a good life… but I don’t believe that God intended for women to work and be fully responsible for a home and family. I comfort myself with this knowledge… the things that I don’t manage to do are things that I was not created to do.

The other day I thought about what a driving force GUILT is in my life… and how much guilt I feel for not being able to be all things to all people. I don’t visit my grandmother like I should. I don’t pay my bills on time (partly because of lack of funds). I miss work too often. I don’t take care of myself like I should. My house is always a mess. My floors need mopping. My car needs a tune up. I have clean laundry that needs to be hung. I don’t go to church every time the doors are open. From the moment I became a mother I have been conditioned by society to feel guilty for the things I DON’T do, instead of being able to celebrate my victories.

About three more hours to go in my work day. Then I have to go by the store and pick up snacks for the Auggie/Devin takeover. Then it’s me, the remote, the laptop and the recliner for the rest of the evening… hope you all have a great weekend! Love and hugs!

2 comments:

Wendy in Oz said...

Hope you have a relaxing guilt free weekend Heather! I know its been ages since I commented here but I do lurk regularly and once we are moved and settled in the new house I will be back to harrassing the crap out of everyone soon enough!

Love and Hugs

Wendy in Oz

Sonya said...

I went to the garden beds and worked for 30 minutes (only about 1/4 of the garden bed done) and said "forget it, the weeds will only grow back"...and went back inside and now sitting in my comfy chair with laptop. I've worked all day yesterday so I'm ready to rest. Hope you get some rest too and let's not worry about the guilt. lol