He gets me

How do you view the Bible? For you... is it the inspired Word of God or just a nice collection of parables? Because... it occurred to me yesterday that even if I didn't believe in God, I would still be moved by the crucifixion story.

I think there is little doubt that crucifixions actually happened in that time period... and to have an ancient text report the crucifixion of a man for no greater crime than blasphemy... that has to tug at your heart no matter what you think of Jesus.

If we celebrate st. Patricks Day with such enthusiasm and gusto... a holiday based on a "fable"... a story that has been handed down throughout history... about a martyr.

Wouldn't you consider Jesus of Nazareth a martyr? Or at least a tragic story?

I'm fascinated by stories of mass tragedy... the sinking of the Titanic... the Hindenburg... the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory... not that I enjoy suffering of others (schadenfreude)... but being an empath, I am moved by such stories. I am fascinated by the Kennedy family because of their unbelievable successes and equally unbelievable tragedies.

I realized yesterday that even if I didn't believe that Jesus was the son of God, the story of his death would fascinate me. Even if He hadn't come back to life. Even if He was just a good man who lived and did some amazing things and taught some amazing lessons...and then was falsely accused, unjustly put to death... I would still want to know more about His story.

But in my heart, I believe He was so much more. I believe He lives to intercede for me... I believe that every wrong I've done was piled on the guilt and shame He carried on the cross and because of that, I can obtain forgiveness. I believe He was God... is God... and that makes the tragedy of the crucifixion more than just another historical fascination for me... it makes it one of a few stories on which I base my faith.

I'm not going to talk about what's going on with me physically right now. Ultimately... what matters most in this moment in time for me is not so much the symptoms that I'm living with but how i use this time of trial to further the Kingdom of God. He was a suffering saviour and I am His. My suffering helps me identify more with His suffering. What matters most is the story of the cross... whether you see it as fact or fable... and paying respect to a man who lived and died... I believe, so that I could live life more abundantly. I am a follower of Christ. I am not ashamed to admit it.

So every time I feel pain... I know He did too and He understands.

Every time I don't get what I think I deserve... neither did He.

When life is unfair... He knows what I'm going through.

When people say things about me that aren't true... He also was falsely accused.

When the road is too rocky and I grow weary... so did He.

When people turn their back on me because they are tired of hearing about my suffering... He knows how that feels.

I'm close to my friend Jen in California... and Jess way up north... and Sarah in Louisiana... and many of you... because we have been through similar circumstances. They get what it's like to be a single mom... to worry about money... to feel lonely and afraid... to wonder if child support will come before the power or water is turned off... they are my sister friends because they have been through what I'm going through. And when I am afraid, I turn to them... and vice versa.

And Jesus, my Jesus... He knows too.

I hope He's as real to you as He is to me... and I hope you are able to believe what I believe because that hope carries me through anything and everything I ever face. But even if you don't see him as messiah, respect the life He lived...

Happy Holy Week, Happy Passover... God bless...

love and hugs.