still frustrated but feeling better...

Yep. I am what the title suggests: still frustrated but feeling better.

In the absence of information, I make stuff up. I knew yesterday that I wasn't going to get anywhere with the pain clinic. My appointment with the neurosurgeon isn't until April 18th. I don't have patience for or faith in any E.R. - even if I had felt up to dealing with driving myself to Northeast Georgia Medical Center in Gainesville... (where all my doctors are) the logistics involved in Austin's details was just more than I could handle. And since I apparently don't have any medical professional out of the dozen or more I've seen and poured my heart (and wallet) out to over the past three months who is willing to oversee my care... I did the only thing I knew to do: I rested.

Honestly... I have spent the bulk of the past three months IN BETWEEN one specialist or another... with the doctor handing me off no longer able to treat me... the new doctor not yet involved in my case... I understand why chronic pain leads to depression. It's not the pain... it's getting jerked around by doctors.

The Pain Clinic doctor suggested that I stop taking the neurontin which ... made no sense... I had been on it for six weeks... that wasn't causing the muscle weakness. I increased the dosage three weeks ago with no side effects (except for weight gain and when I expressed my concerns about THAT nobody seemed to care)... this was OBVIOUSLY (to me) not drug related. And truly, my legs were rubbery fifteen hours after taking the medication... but NOT rubbery after taking it. My medical degree may come from Google... but to me, that's common sense.

To be honest... a Pain Clinic that is supposed to be helping me with pain management for a chronic condition... telling me to come off the only thing that is even taking the edge off of the pain... and telling me to not take ANYTHING for pain for the next ten days... well, that's obviously a medical practice that is not concerned with their clients' well being. I think today I'm going to take a friend's advice and ask to speak to the office manager because honestly... I'm not sure, all things considered... after I called them LAST week and go zero response... and called this week and got treated like a hot potato... I'm not sure I want to funnel any more of my insurance dollars their way.

Today... the muscle spasms are back, the pain is uncomfortable but not unbearable and the muscle weakness is better. I will attempt to work a full day today as I have a new client coming in this afternoon and really need the money.

Anyways... that's what's happening in my world today. I'll try to come up with some happy, positive things for tomorrow. I had promised to avoid Whiny Wednesday for Lent and here I am... doing nothing BUT whining. At least I know that God understands...

have a Wonderful Wednesday, y'all...

love and hugs...