My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Thursday, June 23, 2011

heart monitor, austin, commercials...


So far the heart monitor has shown that my heart goes into tachycardia every time I move. At all. Walking across the parking lot to work it speeds up. Taking laundry out of the dryer makes it speed up. Going to the bathroom. Eating. Anything other than being perfectly still and resting. Most days it has ranged between 85 and 100 while resting. Since yesterday around noon it's been between 100 and 120 while resting. Normal for a healthy adult is 60 when resting. The good news is that so far the cardiac lab has shown that it's beating in a normal rhythm but just beating too fast. And when it's beating too fast it makes me short of breath, dizzy, exhausted - as if I've been running a marathon, a little disoriented, shaky... even my voice is weak...

The beta blockers that I'm on for high blood pressure are supposed to handle the tachycardia too so I wonder how high it would be otherwise. Ugh. I hate this.

Have I mentioned that Austin is officially a senior - class of 2012! Although he failed all of his academic classes last semester, he has enough credits that he could graduate next year if he passes everything. It's so hard to imagine him as a senior. He had a talk with his adviser and although he LOVED the Catalyst class, he really needs a study skills class to have someone in the school make sure he is staying on track. They also talked him into scaling back his collegiate expectations. He WANTS to be a large animal vet but he truly hasn't shown the ability to handle college classes. His adviser wants him to go to a technical college and learn a marketable skill (such as a mechanic or hvac guy) and he agreed to that.

I'm not anti-college by any means but I think there are some people who are not suited for that environment - Austin is one of them. I've also watched my co-worker Holly struggle to find a teaching position for a full year after she got her teaching degree. My generation could count on a college degree as a guarantee that you'd be gainfully employed in your chosen field as soon as you had the diploma in hand. This current economic climate has changed that. I've always wanted my kids to have marketable job skills that would allow them to be a contributing member of society. It's going to be harder for Austin to FIND a job because of the way he answers questions -and that's difficult to explain other than he tends to be monosyllabic and unsympathetic to the person asking questions - he doesn't always understand how to articulate his position. He also has atrocious handwriting... looks like a first grader, at best. Anything he has to fill out on a job application is going to be illegible. He also has a bit of a sense of entitlement - thinking he's above certain jobs (like fast food).

I do have to say, though, he has been a huge help to me over the past month or so. He has really embraced the challenge of keeping the kitchen clean and it has been nearly spotless. He's been helping with the cooking - just put a roast in the crockpot this morning. Yesterday after we made our 5am grocery run he put away all the groceries (and he mostly put them in the right place). He takes out the trash and takes care of the litter box and ... does the laundry, mostly... but sometimes forgets to put a load in the dryer before it sours and has to be rerun. His room is still an episode of hoarders in the making... but he has finally understood how important it is to me to have a clean kitchen.

He is difficult at times but he really is such a huge blessing and I'm glad to have him here to help me. I really, honestly, in no way could manage this household without him.

I'm extremely dizzy this morning and have a sore throat so please keep me in your prayers. I've realized by having the heart monitor that the times that I feel bad, feel uninspired, unmotivated and blah are happening when my heart rate gets above 90. One odd symptom I've noticed is that my heart rate will be high - in the high 90's or above and I'll feel a sharp pain in my chest - just a brief flash of pain - and my heart rate will drop back into the 80's. I mentioned this to the lab technician when I transmitted my last readings and she said she'd make a note of it. I think the fact that I have a normal rhythm makes things not so critical... but I'm afraid that if my heart is beating faster than it should be all the time, that it will wear out! Seriously!

I love the early morning commercials for things like food savers and other similar products... they're all the same format... introduce need for product with a bad actress making a frowning face at her unpleasant situation... show product that can prevent situation.... show smiling bad actress expressing her relief at alleviating the unpleasant situation... BUT WAIT! That's not all... and double the product that you can purchase or introduce some supplemental product that will also make the bad actress smile... This product is not sold in stores but can be yours for three "easy" payments... and return if you're not completely satisfied for a full refund (minus shipping and handling, of course).

The other commercials that are overplayed on the channels I watch are the ones for "bad drugs"... DID YOU TAKE ZOLOFT AND HAVE A CHILD BORN WITH TWELVE TOES?... contact such and such attorney to sue the pants off the makers of these bad drugs. You even call a number that is 1-800-bad drug...

And the products that medicare will pay for... they make me wince because I know that our country is in such horrible debt and lots of people are obtaining these products using tax dollars. Not that they don't NEED them... it just makes me realize how much money is being spent.

I really think that there needs to be a poor single mom making the budget decisions for the United States. She would know how to make a dollar out of fifty cents. You don't spend more than you make. It's that simple.

Anyways... so that's our Thursday morning. In twelve hours I'll be back in my nest... gotta hang tough... gotta keep going... gotta find the strength and energy from somewhere because I definitely don't have it within myself. Trusting God for each and every hour...

Hope you have a beautiful day... we've got that weekend in sight so it's all downhill from here, right? Love and hugs, y'all!