life is flying by...

Is it possible this was really a year ago?

Is it really Friday? This week has flown by... the school year has flown by... LIFE is flying by!
Today is the last day of school for Sarabeth and Jamie. Jamie's kindergarten graduation is this morning and I'm going... dreading the hard wooden benches in the gym but wouldn't miss this for the world. And... since it's Friday... no matter how bad my back hurts today, I'll have two days to recover.

Still no child support. Monday will be 30 days so if I don't get something over the weekend, I'll take the time Monday to go down and file for criminal abandonment. I can't afford to file a civil suit and it takes longer. If I had heard anything at all from him during this time it might be different... just much of the same attitude that he's always had... the kids are my problem.

Although... Austin hasn't been a problem this week. IF anything, I feel like we've had a major breakthrough. He has organized cabinets and closets. He has gone above and beyond what I've asked him to do. He has been PROACTIVE in cleaning before he's asked.

I told him that this was what I have wanted all along was for him to be able to look at a room and understand what needs to be done. He gets it. I'm praying this new perspective sticks.

I went back to my "regular" doctor yesterday for a recheck on the blood pressure and tachycardia. Blood pressure still high. Heart rate still too high. She changed my meds. I have to go back next week for another check. This was the same doctor who originally thought the back pain was just a kidney infection. Of course... hindsight being 20/20... we now know that the spinal stenosis impedes my ability to go to the bathroom... and the bulging discs and spondylolisthesis cause muscle spasms in my lower left back and side... and the inability to go to the bathroom causes my interstitial cystitis to flare up... so all of that mimics a kidney situation when it's not.

Yesterday was exactly 4 months after that first visit. As soon as she saw me she asked, "how's the back problem?" and when I told her it was just as bad... if not worse... than it was at the beginning... she started reviewing with me everything that had been tried so far. She said, "we are likely never going to be able to completely make the pain go away but you should at least have some quality of life". I told her that I've gotten to the point of work and nest and really nothing else... too painful... I'm too tired... and she agrees with the possibility of fibromyalgia but thinks the meds that the pain doctor had me on were not the best combo for that diagnosis and thinks the combination of meds is contributing to my overwhelming fatigue. Plus the high blood pressure and the fact that my heart is beating too fast.

She couldn't believe that the Pain Clinic did blood work on me three weeks ago and haven't called to give me the results. She said that at minimum, you should get something in the mail after lab work advising the findings. So she changed me from the neurontin/cymbalta combination to a lyrica/cymbalta combination and she prescribed ultram for additional pain relief. She was really concerned about the connection of pain and my increased bp and heart rate since it was always fine before this back issue... and it changes the situation from one of me being uncomfortable to a situation where I'm at risk for far more serious complications.

Anyways... it was a good visit. I felt like I was heard... probably for the first time throughout this whole process. What a crazy journey this has been.

I'm super excited about the American Idol final two... Lauren and Scotty ..they're my two favorites and the two that I'm most likely to buy a cd from. I don't even care which one wins.

My grammar feels awkward this morning. I am still out of coffee... forgot to pick some up yesterday in between working, going to the doctor and... I guess that's all I did. Anyways. It seemed like a lot. The end result is that we're still out of coffee and paper towels.

I've never liked Obama. No secret of that here. But his remarks yesterday about Israel are simply ignorant. I don't know a lot about global politics but I do know this: you don't screw with the Jews. Israel is our ally. They are surrounded on all sides by people who want to wipe them off the face of the earth. Taking land away from Israel will not bring peace in the Middle East.
But... I will say this... unrest in the Middle East is prophesied in the Bible.

Still think Swarzenegger (still misspelled) is pond scum.
That french guy... also pond scum.


Anyways... big day ahead... Jamie's graduation. I've got a big fish on the hook for a car loan that will hopefully close today... gotta pull on my big girl drawers and deal with whatever the world has in store for me today. In twelve hours, Lord willing, I'll be back here in the nest.

love and hugs and happy Friday!