tuesday newsday

It's warm outside and cool inside. Thank God for a/c. Wish I didn't have to use it in May.

D is out of the office this week. I didn't know it so I went for staff meeting yesterday... once I figured out I was the only one there, I started digging through my inbox. I got so much done, I wish I could have an early morning without staff meeting every week.

Left work a half hour early. By that time my back was whacked out.

Got home and Austin made the most perfect chili dogs... dog crisped up to my preference... my homemade chili... a little sprinkle of cheddar shreds... honey mustard... it was awesome.

I haven't had much of an appetite at night lately. Been eating small dinners.

But craving sweets like... it's unreal... I have been having a treat every day. It's adding up, I'm afraid.

Austin is failing math. His math teacher has been nasty to me... like it's my fault my kid is uncooperative. I'm not sure what she expects me to do... beat him? Take away his shoes?

I found him two new pair of shoes yesterday at belk. tennies and flipflops. He was pleased. They should get us through the summer.

Now that Grammy (my brother's mother in law, Angie's mom) has a part time job at the college, I can send Austin down to his mawmaw/dad's/brother's some this summer. any volunteers?

His last day of school is June 3. They started late this year.

Austin and I are going to see a play with grandma this weekend: Dearly Departed. I'm excited about the play and about seeing grandma. Sitting hurts but I'll manage. It's a 3 day weekend so I'll have time to recover.

My phone was blowing up last night over some drama with Logan and his mama. Hilary... Logan... Austin... all trying to get me to weigh in on things. If any of these kids is in danger, I'm there 100%... but if they get into a normal, every day battle of wills... it's not my place. Plus... I had taken my meds which make me too altered to drive or even to engage in intelligent conversation.

Trying to get my heart rate under control last night because if it stays high too long, it can lead to serious complications. Between work, shoe-shopping on my lunch break, work again, driving home, digging through all Austin's school paperwork... I needed a break.

And... can I just say that in spite of the frustrations and limitations and pain and whatever... I am feeling so much "rightness" in my life. It's something I can't really explain. Austin and I are really bonding and cooperating with each other. It feels like the worst is behind us. With each of my kids there's been a moment in time when they "cross over" to a level of maturity where they understand what's expected of them and fulfill those expectations. I think... hope... pray... Austin is there.

and now it's Tuesday... four more days to work until a 3 day weekend.... wish me luck!