Not a lot of time this morning. I didn't think I'd be able to get online but ...surprise! It worked. It's very positional... have to drape the power cord across the laptop at exactly the right angle and put it under my left rear to hold it taut. RI-diculous. But it's working.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Woke up this morning feeling a lot of spinal pain. Sometimes my pain is more muscle spasms in my lower back. Other times it's sharp pain in my hips. Days like today, there's no doubt that it is in my spine... with some lovely sciatica tossed in for fun. And... another upset stomach. Riding the pink pepto train into work... but I will make it.
I keep writing these posts about ... my life may be rough but there's people who have it rougher. And those things are really relevant. Heck, I bet some of you read my blog thinking, "at least I'm not HER". But the truth is that whoever I am, whoever you are, was designed by a Heavenly father with a purpose beyond what we can comprehend on earth. My pain softens my heart toward others who are living with pain. My financial struggles allow me to be genuinely compassionate toward people who are struggling, whether by their own poor decisions or by misfortune that has befallen them.
I keep talking about being grateful for a job because I need the income but I'm also grateful for divine appointments that happen every.single.day. that I am at work. There are people who come to me because they trust me. Clients who know I understand what they're going through. People who need a word of encouragement or validation. Or just sometimes someone who says, "you're not alone in this.... you're not the only one". I have the opportunity to talk to people who have been abandoned by their spouse... who have lost their jobs... whose health has failed them... who have family members who have become involved in substance abuse... whose kids have disappointed them. All of that, in that little office with the big window overlooking a magnolia tree. Is that by chance or happenstance? Is there anyone else who God had designated to do what I do, where I do it?
I go in fear to work each day. I worry about the pain. Or the tachycardia that makes it difficult to have the energy and enthusiasm I need to have. I worry that my responses may not be kind enough if I'm suffering. I worry about my lack of production and my shortcomings. But I know that for now, this is where God is sending me and that all of my life's experience up until this point has made me uniquely gifted to minister to those that He (not State Farm) brings into my presence in that place. And if I am to be used of Him... and I so desperately want to be... that I will eagerly go and boldly serve and accept any discomfort as His means of equipping me in a way that will allow me to serve him best.
Time to glam and head to the mission field. May He reap a bountiful harvest through me today.
Posted by Heather at 6:59 AM