My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Monday, May 14, 2012

Reasons to Love Monday - It's Over

I thought my hearing was at 9am. It was at 1pm. I could give you a long, drawn out monologue of the anxiety filled hours between when I thought it was supposed to start and when it actually did. Honestly, it wasn't that bad.

My belief in a Higher Power is largely based on  things that defy explanation or expectation in my life. I was not stressed today. Oh, come one o'clock there was a surge of adrenaline... but really, those four hours weren't bad. I have no doubt that it was supernatural intervention because I should have been all kinds of anxious.

The hour and a half of the hearing... not my favoritest thing I've ever done and remember, I'm less than six months removed from extensive hemorrhoid surgery... but overall, not as bad as it could have been and probably not as bad as I anticipated.

Ultimately, whether it was at 9am or 1pm, what matters most at this point is that it is over. The decision will be made whenever it is made and I'm sure, either way, it will be escalated to the next level and it doesn't make me HAPPY but any future appeals are based on the testimony already submitted. Which means I never, ever, ever again have to go through that again.

Hemorrhoid surgery, on the other hand, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have to go through again at some point. It's all part and partial of loss of feeling and blah blah blah.

When your Reason to Love Monday is that the day (and it's adventures) are over... well, it's a stretch, I know. But I am grateful it is over. All of it. Not just the hearing but that season of life. I was a lot unhappier than I ever let on, as much as I complain, there are some things I'm not at liberty to complain about. It's not the first time I've been in an environment that the delusions of a narcissist have been used to try to change the truth of who I am. Truth, however, has a way of rising to the surface.

And while I was waiting out those four hours in between when I thought I'd be done with all of this and the time  I was ACTUALLY done with all of this, I thought about things that other people have to wait out... like a kidney transplant, or to be reunited with a loved one (like a soldier at war)... and so on, you can fill in the blanks however you want... the point is that it could have been a whole lot worse.

You know how ... after an argument is over you replay your responses and edit yourself to what you WISH you had said? Again... this is absolute divine intervention because even though I *can always say things better when I edit my script*.... I have complete confidence that what I said was what I should have said, no more, no less.

Does this mean that I believe it will be decided in my favor? I can't say for certain. I can confidently say that I was able to intelligently dispute the accusations against me. Seriously, between this hearing and my hours of watching In Session, I should be given an honorary J.D.

At any rate... if nothing else, my genealogy obsession has taught me that I come from not just a couple of Steel Magnolias but literally THOUSANDS of really amazing women who stood strong in the face of adversity. They didn't always win. In fact... at least one was burned at the stake... and what better time than on a Reason to Love Monday that was harder to love than most... to share her story... I give you, my ancestress, Lady Janet Douglas:

Tragedy struck the family in the 16th century at the hands of King James V. As a child, James
had been deprived of his parents' care, first by the death of his father, James IV, at the Battle of
Flodden, and then by his subsequent forceable removal from the care of his mother, Margaret
Tudor, sister of Henry VIII. Brought up by the Douglas family, he became obsessed by a deep
hatred for all who bore the Douglas name and carried out a ruthless vendetta against them
after he became king. 

When John, 6th Lord Glamis died, his widow, Lady Janet Douglas, fell prey to James' hatred.
Although a woman of impeccable character, reputedly of singular beauty and popularity, James
brought a trumped-up charge of witchcraft against her. After a long period of imprisonment, in
which she became almost blind, he had her burned at the stake outside Edinburgh Castle. He
even imprisoned her young son and condemned him to death also. 

Not content with this atrocity, James confiscated Glamis Castle, and occupied it himself,
holding court there form 1537 to 1542. Many still existing royal decrees and charters are dated
from the Castle during this period. 

When the young 7th Lord Glamis was released after the death of James V, Parliament restored
his property to him, but on his return to the Castle he found it had been stripped of all its most
valuable things.



Nice the hearing is behind you. Time to look forward.