Whiny Wednesday... I'm sick, for real!

After another dramatic night of wondering if I needed to call 9-1-1... I got up this morning and called the doctor. I have bronchitis. My left lung (the one with the scar tissue) is crackly but she doesn't think it's pneumonia yet. She treated aggressively because of my history of chronic bronchitis and pneumonia (technically I have a COPD diagnosis but it sounds so much worse than it really is for me) and went ahead and gave me a rocephin (sp?) shot and a shot of steroids. I'll do a week of steroids, the *good stuff* - cough meds with codeine, phenergan (because codeine makes me throw up) and... go back in a week to make sure my lungs are clear. My instructions are to cough as much as I can stand it to bring as much junk out of my lungs as I can. It hurts like the dickens but I'm doing it.

Whatever got into my lungs is apparently aggressive and extremely contagious because all of my babies have it: Ryan, Cody, Austin, Marquee and Sara. My mom started with the sore throat portion of it today (and if anyone was exposed it was my mom because she was drinking out of my drink at the graduation - we didn't have any concessions down on the field and it was too far for either of us to walk so we shared.) I worried that Jamie would get it because she's got the greatest disposition to this type of thing but so far, so good.

So I picked up a few groceries, picked up my meds from the pharmacy, put some gas in the car and came home to settle into the nest for the next few days. The reason I always ask for an antibiotic shot is because you feel really gross for about a day but you get well much quicker. I'm glad I went to the doctor. I debated. What finally convinced me was the crackle at the base of my throat... I sound like Darth Vader... there's a deep hum regardless of whether I'm breathing or talking. There's also a whining sound on the right side of the base of my throat...and while these may make really great party tricks, it's a little unsettling when your body makes noises that you aren't used to.... kinda like when your car makes weird sounds.

Anyways... so my "get into gear post graduation" plan has hit a bit of a road block. We won't try to go to Nashville this weekend. Austin has a dentist appointment to have the second half of his cavities filled on the 6th, I'm visiting probably employer on the 7th and we may try to do Nashville after that. I mean... I only have to pack up our whole apartment, what's to worry about, right? We'll get it done. I may have to pay movers. I may have to pay someone to clean the apartment after we move out. But... fortunately... the fire last summer meant that all of our stuff was sorted and packed by professionals and we've really only unpacked the stuff that we use. I mean... I'll have to pack books... sort through clothes... pack up the kitchen... I will probably separate clothes by season and only keep one season at my parents and the other season in storage to save space. But really... most of the big stuff is going into storage. SOOOo... I will rest and not feel pressed or stressed. I've conquered much bigger tasks with far fewer resources in much less time.

I allowed the married friend to come over last night. He got into the car and Austin said, "____ is scared of you, mom" and I said, "he should be... spiders, snakes, Austin's mom... these are all healthy fears". This is such a great joke because young people are never, ever, ever scared of me... I mean, I have more adopted nieces and stray kids who have taken up with us... I'm a very easy mom to be around. I am not bossy. My rules are extremely lax. I just believe that people ought to do the right thing. He broached the subject of his wife and baby that is due in six weeks. He talked about giving her a list of things she had to change in order for him to be in her life...I cut him short. (like seriously... this is the person who contributed to the delinquency of my child a few short days ago)

I took the rare opportunity of a captive audience to school him on my parenting perspective. All personal issues go out the window when there is a baby involved. You put up with a lot of things that you don't care for in order to successfully co-parent. Austin volunteered a few examples of how I had dealt with his father - like when his father had lived with us for a while when he was homeless. He also lived with my parents for awhile. Having two healthy, safe, whole parents doing their best to create a peaceful environment for their child is the most important thing. It kind of reminded me of my former stepson's brother who had two kids and didn't work or pay child support. I couldn't stand him. I barely concealed my dislike for him. To me... there is no lower form of human being than a parent who doesn't provide for their child. I'm glad I had the opportunity to share my perspective of life with him, whether it sinks in or not.

I can't really take credit for it... but I do feel really good about the way that Logan and Hillary have cared for baby Dessa. They are great parents, they both work hard and concentrate on putting Dessa first. They've both had to live places they weren't comfortable. They've both had to put up with a lot. But they've stuck with it and I, well, I do feel like the conversations I had with them in the beginning contributed some. I would very much like to work in a crisis pregnancy center because I think I'm really good at guiding people through that stage of life.

Anyways... there's no real point to my blog today. I went to the doctor. I'm fur realz sick. I'm highly medicated and will be well soon, Lord willing. Hope you have a Wonderful Wednesday!