My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thankful Thursday - Life is Good.

If I could only freeze time. Not forever. Just a little bit longer so that we can savor these last few weeks of Austin's "childhood". What a great and glorious gift God has given me to have the time to rest and heal. I pray that the next step in the journey involves painless gainful employment. I pray that we can stay here in our cozy little nest with the lush green view. I pray that our resources don't run out. I pray that He gives me wisdom and discernment to confidently move toward the next step - and that the next step comes in His perfect timing. I pray that my little boy will move confidently and boldly into his future and that I will be able to provide the emotional and financial support to help him in this transition.

I know that time is fleeting. Even though there's not a single traditional clock in this house, I hear the seconds tick by, I see the grains slipping through the hourglass. Time marches on, people grow, life changes, we evolve and eventually, hopefully, it all makes sense. I am painfully aware that decisions must be made very soon. In the words of a dear friend, "In staying still you have moved away from me". Inactivity is it's own type of activity.

Would I have said that the fire last summer was a blessing? Not in the days that elapsed before I found a new place to live. Would I have said that the end of my marriage was a blessing? Not until I knew how beautifully God was going to orchestrate *this* season of life for us and how completely He would heal my heart. Would I have possibly grasped what amazing people my kids would grow to be? Not during the time that they were out of control and rebellious and angry and argumentative and unemployed. Sometimes the view is obstructed until we look in the rearview mirror.

In many ways I feel more spiritual awareness than at any time of my life. Not because I'm spending hours and hours in prayer and Bible Study. I could but I don't. There is this incredible sense of peace about my life that defies explanation. There are so many reasons for me to feel unsettled and anxious and fearful and uncertain but I have this legacy of God's faithfulness that has surrounded me throughout my life. There is a sense of knowing that it will all work out perfectly, even though I don't *quite* know how.

I am thankful for peace that passes understanding.
I am thankful for grace that abounds.
I am thankful for past and present and future and I will do my best to embrace all three.
Life is good. God is good.


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