monday

The news on the laptop is not good. As had been feared… replacing the power port sometimes results in a malfunctioning mother board. I have no idea what all that means other than the fact that the laptop is not going to work until/unless we replace the mother board. I am so grateful that Angie took the laptop to someone we can trust as opposed to Geek Squad or some generic repair shop. I wouldn't be able to shake the feeling of being shaken down otherwise. I can get a laptop at a discounted rate but it's still more than I can afford. I am exploring my options… one possibility is to go thru Aaron Rents or some place like that. I would pay more in the long run but I could have it now. Isn't that how poor folks end up poorer? *laugh* I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Oddly... I've been offered a used laptop from an unlikely source... more on that later...

I ended up going to the doctor on Friday. I just have a plain old boring sinus infection, not swine flu or anything dramatic or newsworthy… I got an antibioTic and am feeling much better today. I took Friday as a sick day. I think this is the first time I've had three days in a row off since Christmas. Wait. I didn't have three days in a row off then. I don't know how long it's been since I've had three days off. Maybe Thanksgiving? At any rate… that break was much needed. Other than church Sunday morning and making a quick trip to civilization on Saturday morning for provisions, I stayed in my nest. It was fabulous!

Being away from cyberspace has been weird. I miss knowing what's going on with everyone. I feel cut off from the world in a way… but in other ways, it's been nice. It sort of insulates me from stuff that I want to be away from… Obviously, it's not a healthy long term thing for me to not have contact with my community /support network. Austin is going to need to be able to use a computer for school and that sort of thing. I miss some things. Since I hate to talk on the phone people just about can't get in touch with me unless I want them to. I'm enjoying a season of silence, so to speak. Part of it, though, is just resignation, accepting what I can't change. Maybe I'll have a computer soon… maybe I won't… it is what it is.

My divorce hasn't gone before a judge yet. From what I understand, since I signed the paperwork and agreed to things, it just goes before a judge and he signs it and that's it. I can't tell you that it doesn't make me sad. I have no doubt that God has bigger and better plans for me. I'm reconciled with things. It doesn't hurt as much as it once did. I miss the kids… I dreamed about Stephen Saturday night… usually when I dream about people it means there's some sort of drama going on in their life. Bobby is doing well… throwing tantrums and - in his dad's words - sucking all the air out of the room as usual - which tells me he's normal. I trust that God will provide for them. I just miss them being "my kids". I miss all of Michael's family. My first husband was an only child and his mother was (and is)crazy so I didn't really lose peripherals when we split up. Michael's family was (and is) awesome. I miss 'em.

Austin is starting to get over his creeping crud cough. We had a good time going into civilization on Saturday… counting yard sales and road kill and going to the places we like to go. There's this restaurant called "Oodles of Noodles" that we both love. It's a splurge and I shouldn't be splurging but we've lived off the bounty of the pantry for several weeks. We went right back to our usual grilled cheese / cereal dinners which actually, aren't so bad.

Today is a rainy day. I'm in sort of a gray mood... to match the weather. Trying to make some money... as usual! Better get back to task, my lunch is over now...

Love and hugs, miss y'all!
BTW... I can check this blog but I can't get emails or check facebook...