not so whiny wednesday

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. It’s not supposed to last. More cold, cold rain is on the way. Some places are predicting ice/snow but I’m way past taking any of that seriously now. I’ve been scammed too many times since I’ve lived up here. I think it’s a conspiracy between the grocery stores and the weather channels to force us to buy more food than we normally would. (I’m kidding)

It’s cold and sunny today. It’s my “leave early” day. I usually take a short lunch on Wednesdays but I am so far behind in my homework for my bible study that I’m gonna take the whole hour and try to catch up.

Been having a great conversation about sugar with Whitney, her mom and Purple Michael’s BF Ross (aka Ross the dietician) via email. So much about eating well is just in understanding what you should and shouldn’t eat and learning how different foods affect you. Sugar is a trigger for me so I have to really keep a close watch on my sugar intake.

Foodwise – yesterday for dinner I had pinto beans and couscous. Couscous, as it turns out, is a trigger. I was craving sugar so fiercely afterwards that we made a rare after dark trip to the grocery store where I bought a pound. Yes, a whole pound. Of runts. Nothing but sugar and artificial colors and flavors. Ugh.

The after dark grocery trip, as it turned out, was a great adventure. Hardly anyone in the store- Austin went with me and helped pick out things that he likes – bought waaaay more fresh produce than candy. Ten pounds of produce to one pound of candy. We had a good time. It’s way more fun to buy healthy food than junk. Honestly, it is. Instead of feeling like you’re wasting money on indulgences, you realize that you’re investing in the fuel that your body needs to be at it’s best.

This morning for breakfast I had grilled chicken with roasted purple cabbage. Maybe not traditional breakfast food but great nutrition and soooo yum! Snack was an asian pear. Lunch is supposed to be a almond butter and banana sandwich on my high fiber multi grain bread. Snack will be an orange, if I need a snack. That’s three servings of fruit… which may be too much… but I love it and it’s better than eating junk food. I’ve got to make sure I have more easy access / portable veggies available like celery – which I love, I just don’t always have time to cut it and prepare. I also love tomatoes – which are technically a fruit. I don’t know. It’s an evolving process. Either way, I know I’m in way better shape than I was. Dinner is at church tonight so I’m sorta at their mercy… and if nothing else, I can use the salad bar.

I think I mentioned that I’ve been tapering off the anti-depressant and watching for signs of depression returning. I suspected that my depression was circumstantial and I still do. I think I’m naturally an upbeat, positive, energetic person. I also think that taking the A-D has numbed my personality a bit. People keep mentioning to me that I seem more joyful. Imagine that… I’m being cautious… I’m not going cold turkey and I’m watching for any signs of depression but honestly… I feel great. Not great in a manic – out of proportion – bi-polar way, but in a “I can handle this” kind of way. Bad stuff has happened. Bad stuff will happen in the future. That can’t be avoided. But I want to be clear-headed and able to deal with anything that comes with my true emotions and the full scope of wisdom that I so painfully acquired. No more pharmaceutical filter.

It’s interesting to me that I am able to go to sleep better without taking ambien, that I feel happier without an anti-depressant, that my blood pressure is under better control with a healthy diet than with blood pressure meds, that I’m breathing better without using inhalers – which made me want to eat constantly which made me gain weight which made it harder to breathe. In short… we’re an over medicated, malnutritioned generation. It’s sad to realize how much we’re in bondage to the pharmaceutical industry. How much of the waste in the health care industry comes from poor nutrition and side effects of medication? Anyways… I’ll get off my soap box. The results are clear – at least in my case.

I still have a long way to go. I’m not drinking enough water. I’m not getting enough activity. There’s room for improvement. But at least I’m on the right road.
Much to do… just wanted to share… love and hugs!