My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, March 4, 2011

my mri and my kid

The MRI is done and I'm home.
This morning... within about ten minutes... I had two calls offering to cover the out of pocket expense for me.
God, you see, works that way in my life.
In the end... the Imaging Center didn't ask me to pay anything out of pocket... and that's also what God does in my life...
He lets me see His power, His protection, His love - manifested in the concern of people in my life who love me...
and gave me peace so that I could work this morning without stressing about how to come up with the money.
It's surreal to me... how awesomely He works.
The MRI itself was an hour and fifteen minutes long with me laying flat on my back... something that causes pretty intense pain.
And yet... it was relatively pain free.
I feel it now.
But while I was in the tube... it was completely peaceful for me.
I mean... loud... if you've never had an MRI... they're really, REALLY LOUD.
This coming from the mother of three boys.
But that time there was peaceful, restful, not completely painless but not miserable.
My nose never itched.
I never had to go to the bathroom.
It was a nice time of prayer and meditation.
The time BEFORE the MRI was not stress free... Austin was texting me with a vengeance, wanting to go to his friend Zach's house for the weekend.
Really, really a bad idea.
I took Austin's phone from him yesterday. Well... sorta. I told him that no phone use away from home.
Since we no longer have a home phone, the cellphones are our only means of communication and I'm not comfortable with him not having a way to call 9-1-1 in case of emergency if I happen to not be home.
So my compromise is to have the phone AT home... but not allow it to leave with him until his grades drastically improve.
Except... day one of that and... he messes it up already.
And... he uses the phone in the same way that got it taken away before.
I promise y'all, he's a smart kid.
He's blowing up my phone with "you don't trust me" "you never give me a chance" blah blah blah.
I suggested that he call DFCS on me. Because... c'mon ... how bad does he have it?
Anyways... other than that... the MRI wasn't a bad experience.
Afterwards I could barely walk.
Once I got to the car I got hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness and remembered that was a major part of the problem early on in this process... I guess there's some connection.
Who knows.
It was a long drive home but I'm here and I'm settled.
Austin is upset... not just with me but also, apparently, he and Logan have had a falling out.
It breaks my heart. I mean... I understand Logan's frustration with Austin.... but... he was the ONE kid in our church youth group that Austin could really call a friend and hang out with... and... if the church kids don't accept him, Austin will gravitate toward the people who do accept him.
And right now... I'm not loving that influence from the kids who do accept him.
My heart is really heavy for him.
For us.
I texted his brothers last night and asked them to talk to him... I rarely meddle... I rarely ask them to do anything... I never do the Jewish mother guilt thing if they don't call me. I get it. They're young and work hard and have their own lives. I love that they have their own lives. But their brother is struggling and heading down the wrong path and... they could influence him... and... well, I don't think either one reached out to him.
And... now it feels like the church kids are rejecting him.
If I was Austin, I'd be looking for that path of greatest acceptance too.
I get that too.
Anyways... God is good, He is powerful, He is real and He is still working in our lives. I'm convinced of that.
Happy weekend y'all.

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