thankful Thursday

Just know... that any time you make a bold statement about not whining or complaining, the devil is gonna give you a lot of things to whine and complain about! I'm laughing at myself... and I'm grateful that I still have that ability... but yesterday was definitely a test of my resolve.

I now have an appointment scheduled with the pain clinic. First they called and did a brief phone interview... made me feel like a criminal... then they called back about four hours later after reviewing my records, my xray, ct scan and mri and set the first appointment. The first appt is just an evaluation and exam. They said to anticipate needing someone to accompany me to future appointments as they will probably involve "procedures" that will render me unable to drive. Good times.

The rub is that the first available appt is March 29. I thought... I don't want to sound so desperate that they think I'm just seeking drugs... but I want to appropriately convey my discomfort so as to receive prompt care. I sheepishly said, "wow... do people typically have to wait 3 weeks for their first appointment?" and she said, "yes, 2-3 weeks is common"... and I said, "I have just been through such a long diagnosis process and have been in pain for two months already" and she was really... really... not moved by that statement. She said they'd call if they had a cancellation. So I'm praying for a cancellation.

We had a lot of rain yesterday. As I put my foot into my car to *quickly* get out of the rain, my foot slipped and I landed hard on my seat. The rest of the day it was a different kind of pain... it changed from a dull/achey pressure to a searing, hot pain. I augmented my gabopentin with a glass of wine. Slept poorly. I am no longer able to sleep on my side... which is how i've slept forever... I can't sleep on my stomach because of the curve it puts into my spine... I can't sleep on my back... so.... that pretty much means that I'm tossing and turning. It was a rough night.

Yesterday morning while drying my hair, instead of working on my memory verses (I'm memorizing Psalm 139 this year) I read James 5. It's a great, very encouraging chapter that covers a lot of topics. It hit on a lot of topics that hit home for me... and I was glad to have those words fresh on my mind as I went through the day. I think, even people who are not believers can benefit from the uplifting words of scripture. People study great literature... and the Bible is definitely a great piece of literary work that has survived for centuries.

I'm posting James 5 at the end of this entry if you want to read. When I cut and paste it sort of gets jumbled so ... if you want an easier to read version, I like to go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ to read the bible online. If you're not sure where to start and want to avoid the begats and the confusing stuff... just read the chapter of Proverbs that coincides with the day of the month... so today you would read Proverbs 10.

Switching gears a little... A previous schoolmate who was working on the production of La Cage Aux Folles on Broadway is now doing Anything Goes with Sutton Foster (who I LOVE) and Joel Gray (who is a LEGEND). He always posts photos of himself with all these amazing celebrities... sort of surreal. It officially means that I'm only two degrees of separation from these people and I think that's way cool.

Speaking of... my blogger babe Jeanne's son Brian is opening (tonight, I think) in his school's production of Les Miserables. Brian is playing Thenardier, a role that my beloved Joey was absolutely stunning in... brings back great memories for me. I love that show! And now that *miraculously* my CD player in my car is working again, I think I'm going to have to listen to some Les Mis on the way to work today.

I'm still loving my snail mail campaign and added a new penpal yesterday. Oddly... I have yet to run out of things to say... imagine that! It's about time for me to send another letter to the Steel Magnolias today, if I have time.

Austin is having to stay after school today to make up work in chemistry. Who didn't see that coming? I'm leaving work early to get him... which I won't be able to do on a continuous basis but unfortunately, he needs to stay at least once a week until his grade comes up. I've got to find someone who can get him. Today it works out ok as I need to visit with this teacher anyways and get a better idea of what his work habits are. I mean... ultimately... this kid is never going to be a great scholar.... and he doesn't have to be. He's going to find his way in the world... he's going to figure out his niche. Ryan did. Cody did. I'm confident that Austin, who is cut from the same cloth, will also become a contributing member of society. It's just going to take a little longer.

It's still dark outside and I just took a big swig of coffee -- amaretto flavored creamer - and the electric blanket is warm and cozy... the rain is falling steadily outside... I'm alive... I'm awake... I'm in a good mood... I'm able to work, maybe not at 100% but I'm still going... my car (which wouldn't start yesterday when I stopped at the grocery store - pray that it holds up for me!) is still running, by the grace of God.... I still have a job... we're not out of money yet and we might get child support as early as tomorrow evening... my landlord is fixing the kitchen drawer that has been broken for months (he stopped by yesterday to change the air filter and I gave it to him to fix)... Austin was incredibly cooperative yesterday - even cleaned out my car... I feel safe, my loved ones are safe... I feel blessed... and although things aren't exactly what I would have chosen for myself... life is good. I know that these light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all... (2 Corinthians 4:17) I'm grateful that my troubles ARE light and momentary. This is nothing! I have been through soooo much worse. I can survive the next 19 days, right?

Hope you have a great Thursday! Love and hugs!


James 5
Warning to Rich Oppressors 1 Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. 2 Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3 Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4 Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6 You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.
Patience in Suffering 7 Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 8 You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. 9 Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
12 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.
The Prayer of Faith 13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
19 My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, 20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.