Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Left work Wednesday afternoon feeling really uncomfortable... but oh, so blessed. There is this unique sense of rightness in my world... this feeling that I fit, that I am where I belong. I have a whole laundry list of things I wish were different... but in the grand scheme of things I am right where I belong. I hope I never take that for granted.
I'm so thankful for cards in the mail... sending and receiving...
I'm thankful for peeps for Jen, Cadbury creme eggs for Holly and redhots for me... little treats that make us happy.
I'm thankful for the awesome grilled fish tacos at El Sombrero... I don't eat out often for lunch but when I need a restaurant lunch instead of a car picnic, it's a perfect HEALTHY alternative.
I'm thankful for the patches of purple and yellow flowers on my commute.
I'm thankful that Austin did the dishes and took out the trash yesterday.
I'm thankful for the theme song to The Office... makes me smile just hearing it.
I'm thankful for my friend Amy in Holly Springs and our inside jokes.
And for my friend Amy (that used to work for my uncle) and the fact that she gets me...
My friend Scott who has been a good friend for a very long time... called yesterday about some insurance stuff and we got to talking about my back problems. Unbeknownst to me... his younger brother committed suicide last May because he had been living with back pain for years and just couldn't go on. He was 37. Yes, I'm weary of the pain but I'm not desperate or hopeless.
By the Grace of God, I don't believe I'll ever again be that kind of hopeless. That's huge to me... to know that there is a purpose and process in my suffering... and to know that these are light and momentary troubles.
I got a call yesterday that jerked me back in time a few years... and it was surreal... to have someone try to talk to me the way they would have talked to the woman I was then... I was practically speechless (and for those who know me in real life, you know that rarely happens). I'm just so glad to be all me, all the time... to never have to apologize for the woman I am... to never have to explain, excuse, hide, live in fear... live with constant anxiety. God has been so good to me. I'm thankful that I found the courage to move away from that bondage... the wisdom to understand that it's better to be single than to be in a marriage where I'm not being treated the way I should be treated. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to find me again.
I'm so glad for the community I live in... for the characters that populate this little corner of the world... thankful for Alisa, Cyndi, Sharon, Angie, Darline, Munner... and the sense of belonging that they give me.
I'm thankful for my online community... the people who prop me up when I'm sinking... for Terri and Robin, blasts from the past, who are faithful to hold me up in prayer... for Linda and Melissa and Jen and Jess and Patty and sweet Monica who emailed me with a lot of good information about the kind of back problems I'm having. I'm thankful for every single comment I get on my blog or in facebook. The feedback you give is such an encouragement to me. I am blessed to know that people care enough or are interested enough to read this blog.
I'm thankful for the pain... for what it is teaching me... for the impact it has/will have on my ability to minister to others. Thankful for health insurance. Thankful for good health care. Thankful I don't live on the third floor any more. I'm thankful for people who understand... and for people who have never lived through it and can't understand but care anyways. I'm thankful for the people who faithfully pray for me. I realized yesterday morning that I didn't have TIME to pray for every single person in my life who I want to intercede for and I think that in itself is a huge, huge blessing... to have a life so full that I couldn't possibly name everyone.
I'm thankful for my 3 legged wondercat and the adoring way he looks at me when I scratch his back. I'm thankful for the time that Bitty was with us. I'm thankful for the comfort and companionship my furbabies bring.
I'm thankful for Red Flag Guy (who just got married... wasn't that fast?) ... and for Next Guy who resurfaced this weekend (but no, I'm not interested in dating him or anyone). I'm thankful that I can trust God to protect me from ever loving the wrong kind of guy again. God has shown me so very clearly over the past six months that He is going to intercede whenever I'm on the wrong path. He is protecting my heart. I'm so thankful for that.
I'm thankful for my nest... for a place to get some rest and relief.
I'm thankful that the Penningtons, my mom's siblings and their families, are getting together on Sunday. Our reunions tend to happen about once a decade. My fear is that this will be the last time that all of the senior generation are together. My mom is #6 of 7 kids... so although she's young... her siblings aren't. I'm thankful for the family members I've been able to reconnect with because of the internet.
I'm thankful for Weight Watchers... if I wasn't on this kind of strict, disciplined plan, if I didn't already have that habit in place, I know that this would have been a time of extreme weight gain for me. I've had to work hard just to maintain the same weight and that's ok. It's better than gaining weight.
I'm thankful for Thursday.
I'm thankful for answered prayer. Yesterday I found out that a prayer I had prayed for 2 1/2 years has been answered... the protection that I asked God to give to some children that God laid on my heart has come to fruition. If you've ever prayed for something for a long time before you saw it come to pass, you know the relief and restoration that answered prayer gave me.
I'm thankful to be able to believe in God, to have a Higher Power that I can trust, to have the confidence that comes from seeing prayers answered again and again.
My internet keeps crashing so I better post while I can... have a great day, y'all!
Posted by Heather at 6:20 PM