though the mountains be shaken...

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

I am doing the Beth Moore scripture memorization thing this year... my challenge to myself is to memorize Psalm 139. I'm on verse 6. (Ironically... my sister in law Angie is also working to re-memorize this chapter right now.) So... twice a month I go to http://www.livingproofministries.blogspot.com/ and post a comment with the verse I'm working on. I also enjoy scrolling through the comments to see what other people are memorizing. Lots of good, meaty verses in there. One of the verses yesterday was the one I listed above and it made me stop in my tracks.... mountains shaken... hmmm... reminds me of things going on over in Japan. And then I found this passage:

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging... Psalm 46:1-3

Which made me think about the large gaps created in the ground by the earthquake... and the tsunami... I mean, the bible is an ancient book... and I doubt there was anyone alive at the time it was written that would have personally witnessed such a traumatic natural disaster because they didn't have CNN or Facebook. If you had been close enough to see such destruction, you would have been too close to survive it, right? They couldn't have ever really SEEN a time when mountains quake and waters roar and foam...

I don't know. It just feels sometimes like this earth is moaning and groaning the same way that I am. There are man made situations that are out of control... like the whole Libya thing, unrest in the Middle East, our crazy out of whack political situations with a country so deeply divided, nuclear meltdowns... and there are nature made situations that are out of control... disease, earthquakes, tsunamis, famine.... So much sadness and suffering in the world. Even in our relative utopia here in the U.S. (and yes, seriously, compared to what a large portion of the world lives with in the way of poverty, oppression and suffering, this is utopia)... even here we have so much heartache and suffering, much of it inflicted by people who have no conscience or compassion for their fellow man, some of it inflicted by a world that has gotten so far away from what God intended for us in the way of nutrition, morals, etc. It's a mad, mad world.

I need something to believe in. Something that is bigger and badder than the things I am facing. I need to be able to reach to a Higher Power. I can't debate theology with you. I only know what works for me. I need for there to be a God who gives - and keeps - His promises. That's my hope. That's my faith. I only know that when I call on Him, I feel comforted. When I seek Him, I see results. Maybe those results would have happened anyway. I just don't know. Maybe it does have something to do with a positive attitude. I know a lot of people who are on the fence about faith... who see people of faith as simple minded. I'm ok with that. I want to be like a little child when it comes to God. I want to have child-like faith. I want to believe. I need to believe. I need for there to be a God who is in charge of it all.

Otherwise... what hope is there? What else is there to believe in?

Yesterday was a good day. I felt - for the first time in a long time - that I was making progress at work. I felt like my efforts were paying off... not that I sold anything but I did have some great leads that I think will pay off in the future. I could feel the mojo returning. Jim stopped by with the girls to take care of some insurance business... they had just gotten out of school and were hungry so I dug an old nutrigrain bar out of my desk and split it with them. (that's the picture at the top of this post) It was that or almonds. One of Austin's teachers wrote me to complain about his lack of cooperation at school and I commisserated with her and apologized but told her I was out of answers with him. By the time I got home... he was in a more cooperative mood and I was able to have a semi-adult conversation with him about expectations. The increase in my dosage on my meds gave me better relief than I've been getting... I slept well.

Today I have a few projects I need to wrap up in anticipation of my injection tomorrow. I'm supposed to be completely recovered other than soreness by Friday morning but just in case I'm NOT, I want to make sure Austin and I are self-sufficient for the next few days. I want to put together a little surprise for my "medical transport team" of Pam, Olivia and Benjamin... I want to get a few cards in the mail. I need to finish my March Madness bracket. Oh... and work, of course. I've promised Austin pizza for dinner tomorrow night... anticipating that I won't feel like cooking. I've got to go to the bank and make sure I have the cha-ching to pay for my co-pay. I'm working the full day today as Shirley and Holly both had appointments that had to be scheduled today so I won't be able to go to my hen party tonight... but... by the end of the day I'm in so much pain that it's nigh on impossible to sit. This morning I'm having crazy muscle spasms... it's going to be a long day and I have a lot to accomplish but...

I'm just thinking that a God who is an ever present help in trouble is going to get me through my little tiny itty bitty problems and obstacles... I'm guessing that His compassion on me will help me accomplish all that I need to. I'm just gonna stand boldly in faith today and know that He is able, this God that I believe in...

Have a Wonderful Wednesday, y'all!