I love apple pie.
I love Anthony Bourdain. His new season started tonight and I'm loving it.
I despise ambien.
But I took ambien tonight.
My divorce papers came in the mail today. It's officially over! I could literally feel the shackles coming off of me. Freedom never felt so good! And unlike my first divorce... I never ever have to see him, think of him, talk to him, or even acknowledge his existance for the rest of my life.
I'm getting my name changed... asap.
Time to move on.
His son (who lurks here often) unfriended me on Facebook - unhappy with the celebratory comments. I don't expect him to understand... and I know it can't be easy to realize how happy people are to have his father out of my life for good.
None of us wants to think of our parents as mere mortals. Or of our parents as persona non grata. I imagine it can't have been easy to have known what he knew (that his father was cheating on me) and known that I was on the edge of a breakdown... and then to know that everyone blamed his father... and still blame him...
But... it's my playground... and... if it had been up to me, I would still be working at finding a way to make my marriage work.
Or I would have died trying.
So... I'm at peace. I know I did what I could. And I know that God has so much in store for me. I know that He set me free... that He has a purpose for my life and testimony.
I did eat a piece of apple pie this evening, though. I felt like I needed a little celebration. I couldn't finish it. That made me feel very in control.
And then felt jazzed and wide awake so I took an ambien.
Well... I made it five days... the next time it will be six or ten or ... forever.
I'm making big ole giant steps towards where I want to be.
I'm getting there.
I'm not who I want to be yet...
But thank God...
I'm free from being who I was.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I love apple pie.
Posted by Heather at 9:59 PM