weight loss day two and start of day 3

I haven't decided if I want to have a set format for blogging this year with the weight loss (and there WILL be weight loss!)... or just make general and random updates. This blog was first and foremost a weight loss blog up until the time that I stopped losing weight but... I guess, in a way, there is as much to learn from a weight loss blog that has fallen on "heavy times" as there is to read in a successful one. I know that I'm just as interested in hearing how someone gained weight back after a successful loss as I am interested in hearing weight loss success stories and tips.

It's important to know that apart from whatever keeps you honest in anything... there is a potential for failure... and whatever "self-help" steps work for you in anything cease working when you cease stepping. Maybe the real magic lies in developing an arsenal of things that work for you even if you don't use every weapon in every battle... you have enough weapons that you continue to be victorious over whatever your demon is... and mine is fat, without a doubt.

The benefit to having had a successful weight loss journey in the past is having so many of those tools already in my closet - they just need to be taken out, dusted off and put back to use. The other benefit is knowing what triggers knock me off my plan and trip me up.

There was a point, as we were planning to move to Florida, that I told Michael I wanted to go to school (as in college) to get a degree in Nutrition. He disagreed. Said there was no money in that field. I argued... it was something that I was incredibly interested in - passionate about, in fact - and that I felt like I could get up every morning not only excited about going to work, but also excited about letting my work overflow into my lifestyle. He disagreed. End of discussion.

He also disagreed with me taking piano lessons or belly dancing or learning Italian. Said that I should be focusing on cleaning the house and taking business classes - things that would pay off. It's odd... he's such a dedicated employee and intelligent businessman but based on the mail that he still allows to come to my house... he's not so very smart about his own business. I'm just saying.

I think that if we structure our lives based on learning only the things that bring us financial gain, that we end up losing a lot. I know that for me, beyond avoiding the stress that comes from never having enough money to pay the bills, money has very little happiness for me. Joy comes from the lives we impact and the lives that impact ours.

When I think about weight loss from a perspective of how healthy eating allows me to be more invested in my community by having the energy to do more than work and sleep... and how weight loss success makes me feel like a stronger person emotionally... and makes me feel like i have control of my life... it's a good thing. It may not make any money for me but it makes me able to do more with what I have.

With all of that said... the ambien experiment was not a great idea. Apparently ambien withdrawal carries some pretty nasty side effects such as headaches (which I had) and muscle spasms (which started yesterday afternoon) and stomach pain (which also started yesterday)... and so I took an ambien and will call the doctor tomorrow to get a prescription for a low dose ambien and will wean myself off in a responsible way. One thing is certain... I can't live my best life when I'm exhausted. I can't make good food choices, I can't be a good mother, I definitely can't be a good employee...

Today I'm trying to rebound from the exhaustion and prepare for the upcoming week. Meal planning (or lack thereof) is my biggest diet downfall - so I have to bring that tool out of the closet and prepare for battle. A five day work week. Yikes. I haven't had one of those in a month. I'm hoping that the proper food combinations will give me the energy I need to combat a long work week. Or that it will snow one day.

Yesterday I didn't do a great job with food. Friday was awesome... I even had a snack that was triscuits and laughing cow cheese... felt great about it! But I didn't sleep Friday night and was starving and exhausted. Stasha spent the night so as soon as she woke up we went out in the snow (yes! it was snowing! the sun was shining bright and it was just flurries that never accumulated but it was snow!) to Glenda's and had a big country breakfast of bacon, eggs, biscuit and gravy. I had two pieces of bacon, most of a "cat head biscuit", scrambled eggs and gravy. Thick white country gravy.

Then... we went to Jamie's birthday party (pictures will be posted on facebook in just a few minutes) and I snacked on some chips and dip, cheetos, peanut m&ms - a piece of chocolate cake and I even had a few sips of capri sun.

But... when Austin and I got home... I had black eyed peas and brown rice and roasted asparagus for dinner. Later I had a few almonds.... so I ended up ok.

This morning i have butternut squash baking for my breakfast. Will have that with some greek yogurt and blackberries. Just wanted to try something new. I'm trying to make sure every meal has some kind of protein and something with color - either a fruit or veggie. Protein is for energy and the colored things bring all kind of natural healing benefits... I'm relearning what those are, but I know that when I eat a colorful diet, I feel better.

I have decided on an exercise routine... for now... it's going to be 15 minutes a day of intense housework. This is because it's too cold to go outside and because my house is a wreck. I come home and crash every day after work. I think nearly two hours a week of housekeeping will give us a much healthier home environment... and it's all about moving.

My goal is to increase that "moving" time every day and by February 1st be ready to add "sweating" to my "moving".

I have also added an accountability partner to this whole process and that helps! Having a weight loss community makes everything better!

Time to check on my squash... happy Sunday! God bless!