My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

My Friday recap...

It rained all night but the sun is shining bright this morning. I slept until after 7am... waaaay late for me but I'm sort of resetting my internal clock and I didn't get to sleep until after midnight last night.

Austin and I had a full day yesterday
I went to the doctor. He was sad about me losing my job but agreed that it's time to start thinking seriously about disability. It's discouraging to realize that my situation has changed in that way but I did feel validated to some degree. Having a problem with your spine is like having an invisible injury. I don't have a sling or a cast or anything visual that anyone, including me, can see. Nobody sees pain. You can dramatize but I don't. I don't limp unless my body forces me to. You don't see how bad I'm hurting because most people in my real life don't see me. I don't answer the phone, usually when I'm in pain. I just completely withdraw. It's how I deal with it. And then I come here and whine everyday. At any rate... my doctor has an attorney they work closely with and he feels that they will be able to get me approved on the first attempt - which would take about six months. He loaded me up with as many samples of my meds as they could. I go back in June for a re-check and that will be full price... but... well, who knows where we'll be in June?

Next Austin and I went to get his hair cut. He was looking like the Lorax. He wants to grow his hair out but it's so thick that it grows into a sort of shaggy fro, if you can imagine that.

We went and bought him a new shirt for Gramps' memorial service. The same little button up shirt that he's been using as his "Sunday/Go to meeting" shirt since he was 14 no longer fits. I've got to hem his pants that I bought him for Kegan's memorial because they're way too long.  I got myself a nice, comfy dress and some black Mary Jane flats that will be comfy even if I swell up.

That's my latest problem: swelling. If I'm on my feet for more than an hour, from the knees down my skin gets red and warm to the touch and my legs and feet swell up to the point that you would think the skin would burst. I doubled up on my diuretic last night and it took about six hours before the swelling was down enough that it didn't hurt to touch my skin. Dr Google offered lots of scary possibilities but, one that really stuck out to me was lumbar spinal stenosis - which I have, and is degenerative (meaning that it will get worse and the symptoms will too) so it's not surprising that it would rear it's ugly head. There are a couple of other possibilities and it could be a side effect of one or more of the new meds I'm on. Nothing I can do about it now, but I'm definitely keeping a watch on it.

I forgot that I had a lab appointment yesterday morning. I remembered around 10am... and it was supposed to be fasting blood work and I was already halfway to my doctors appointment.


I saw a quote on facebook yesterday that said something to the effect that they'd rather deal with a kind atheist than some of the Christians they had come across. I agree. That's definitely been my experience here. And it's really sad. However, no matter what anyone, Christian or not, does to me, I truly believe that no weapon formed against me will prosper and I. am. holding. on. to that concept. If unemployment is denied, I'll file an appeal and ... if it still is denied... then I file for disability. That's the game plan.

After the haircut... and the shopping trip.... we went out to lunch at a place called Pastability. They have all different kinds of noodle dishes and Austin and I really enjoy the thai and japanese noodles. It was nice to sit and chat and have his mostly undivided attention. I found out that he burned his hand while on the "Camping Trip of Doom" and also developed a huge blister on his foot. This is the problem I have with Austin... yes, he's an adult, at least chronologically, but his decisions and actions are of a much younger person. This is why my blood pressure shoots through the roof when he's away from me.

We went to the Christian book store and browsed. Austin's haircutting place gave him a coupon for a free smoothie so he got that and finally we headed back home. That's when I really started to feel the swelling in my legs. It made me horribly anxious but... it is what it is.

Today I need to run a few (very few) errands and rest up as much as I can. Sunday and Monday will be very busy days for me and I'm used to being a slug. I'm going to close with a picture that Aunt Mimi found in my facebook photos yesterday... I forgot I had it... it's Gramps on the swing with his granddaughter Hannah (Sarabeth and Jamie's cousin) pushing him last October at Sarabeth's birthday party. It's grainy - I took it from a distance and I don't have a fancy camera so I had to edit it to bring it in closer... but it's still. just. Precious. We never would have dreamed that less than six months later we'd be saying goodbye to Gramps.


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