My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Whiny Wednesday - the parenting a teenager edition

Man, I think I’ve got troubles… but look at poor Lindsay Lohan.
Or not.
Maybe her troubles are troubles she brought upon herself.
Ok. Mine too. But still…
Is it only Wednesday? I’m feeling exhausted and old today. And sore… apparently I really do have abs underneath that fat suit I’ve been wearing. Ouch.
No pilates for me today – walking only.
My computer crapped out on me this morning. Hoping it was a temporary fluke… and not a permanent problem since I’m hooked on the weight watchers online deal.
Austin was a BRAT last night. He totally threw a tantrum in Walmart because I wouldn’t buy him a cellphone. He stood there stomping his feet and saying, “I’ll never get a phone” and some other things I tuned out. He melts down every time I talk about moving to a cheaper place but doesn’t want to make the sacrifices we have to make to stay where we are. I UNLEASHED on him last night about his lack of compassion and sensitivity to how hard I struggle to keep it all together while all he does is make more and more greedy demands. Never satisfied. Yes, I understand other kids have cellphones. Other kids have parents who either still live together or whose father pays child support like they’re supposed to. My little bit I get here and there that is a fraction of what the court ordered – and I requested the minimum from the court – doesn’t pay for those kind of luxuries.
I mean… seriously… I have a pay as you go phone that I put about $15 on once every couple of months so that I have it in case of an emergency. Why does he deserve more… when he is home all day long by a landline… than what I have? I don’t get it.
When I was his age I had to stretch the kitchen phone cord as far as it would go out on the porch or into my room so that I could have privacy from my four brothers to talk on the phone.
What’s the matter with kids these days?
So anyways… while we were in Walmart I bought a small food processor because I’ve been hand chopping all the various produce items that I’m eating… this little deal was $10, a great investment for me, considering I’m chopping something or other every single day and… he had another meltdown because I could afford $10 for a food processor but not the $50 it was going to cost to get him a phone.
It was his responsibility – his chore – to unload the groceries and put them away – and when I went to get something out of the fridge he had put the water bottles all over the place – thrown in randomly – so that when you opened the door they rolled out everywhere – they were on top of things like tomatoes and yogurt – ripped open a container of yogurt. It was a mess. I made him redo it which infuriated him.
Then I discovered that – although I had asked a half dozen times if he had dishes in his room and he swore that he didn’t – he did. I asked him to put them in the dishwasher and… nope. Never happened.
The final straw for me… this morning when I got ready to leave for work *someone* had spit onto every single car window. Big old juicy spit wads. Every window. I didn’t have time to wash the windows before I left for work… and couldn’t be late to work because we have two people out again today. Again. So I’m driving to work trying to peer thru the nastiness on my windows. It made me cry, honestly.
As I told Austin last night… I have spent the past two years recovering from the abuse that the Devil put me through. I have worked far too hard to reinvent a happy, healthy, stable life for myself to have to worry about whether or not some ungrateful brat has all the luxuries in life that he thinks he’s entitled to – but is unwilling to work for.
On top of that… having to hide silverware to make sure I have a fork to eat with because he lets dishes pile up in his room. And a thousand other little aggravations and injustices he puts me through... discovering that the case of bottled water I bought has been devoured in a day and a half… waking up every morning to some new kind of mess in the house… chores not done until the 3rd or 4th request but his expectation that allowance should be paid in advance of any effort on his part. Somebody needs to do an intervention with him… make him understand that it’s just not ok to treat his mother that way…. But I don’t really have any backup where that’s concerned. His father certainly doesn’t care. He never has supported me with any of the kids and their behavioral issues. In fact, he usually contradicts me or offers them a path of least resistance. And honestly… he CAN HAVE HIM.
So I’m in a foul temper. And we’re two people short today. HOWEVER… there is a huge victory in all of that… when we got home and I was hoarse from yelling at him and shaking from the stress of it and really wanted to sink into a hot fudge sundae OR ANYTHING sweet… I didn’t. I didn’t snack at all. I didn’t comfort myself with food!
And… to be honest… yesterday afternoon was stressful too… at work, not with Austin. I had a flood quote to do, a homeowners quote to do, two auto insurance policies to write and it was the last hour of the day – the time of day when I have to count money – and the first day back from a holiday, that’s a bigger job than usual. And our receptionist took her lunch that last hour – so I had to deal with all the last minute traffic as well. I ended up leaving the office a few minutes late and was so frustrated, stressed, exhausted… but I STILL CAME HOME AND WORKED OUT! My legs were hurting and I was tired and sooo over it but I still did a “two point” workout.
Life is good. I’m really ok. Austin needs an attitude adjustment in a bad way and it’s really just part and parcel of raising a teenager – especially an Aspergers teenager – on my own. And I will get my revenge. Trust me. *evil laugh*
I didn’t sleep well last night (go figure) and it’s been a rough day so far but I have hope… and I will, come hell or high water, leave early today as scheduled because I need it. I need a good long walk.
Happy Whiny Wednesday, y’all.


slj said...

Got one of those boys myself..It does get better. They just mature slower than the
Maybe you need to show him what the bills are and what amount of money comes in.
Good luck,

JennBand08 said...

Teenagers are a handful. I have one myself that also seems to think she's entitled to things.. and to judge my purchases. I hate that! I work hard and will buy the things I feel are necessary, NOT what my teen feels is needed. Hang in there. WTG on not comforting with food. I haven't mastered that one yet.

moshell's lilbit of space said...

My kids do the same thing, but my son is worse about it than my daughter. BUT...the light clicked on in his brain not too long ago when he got a job and realized that it takes a lot of hours to make money and doesn't take it for granted anymore......

**hugs** to you Heather.