My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

pebbles in the pond

When you toss a pebble into a pond you don't just have a pebble sized ripple... it rolls out and grows bigger and bigger and bigger until the final ripple is many times the original impact.

So it is with the choices we make. The consequences ripple out far beyond the original situation. A good decision can multiply into great results for many people in your life. A poor decision can wound so many people.

I got an email today from a friend who is heartbroken... and his heartbreak is not of his own making. It is the ripple effect of some poor choices made by other people... and it's unfair. There's no other way to categorize it, other than unfair. His heartbreak is so deep and so real and just wrong. The selfishness that began this ripple effect that has impacted so many lives... including mine... could never justify the ultimate result, the innocent victims whose lives were forever changed.

I don't know much... but I know God is good. I know that He is able... I know that when we can't see His hand, we can trust His heart. I know that He makes a way where there is no way. I know that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Today while doing my bible study I came across this passage again and like always, it made me weep:

Isaiah 54:5-7 (New International Version)
5 For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God.
7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit... hmmmm... I know that wife. I AM that wife. I know that pain... I know that hurt... that desperation... that feeling that there is no possible way things could ever be right again.. that life is incredibly unfair and wrong and that God has abandoned me and that it is MY OWN FAULT that I am suffering... and then he says, "with deep compassion I will bring you BACK".... I weep at those words every time. He did. He brought me back. Some may argue that I'm not *there* yet but let me tell you, friends, the girl who types these words is not the same girl who curled up on her bed and waited for death. I was done. I was hopeless. I was devastated. But here I am!


Because God's grace is perfect... I had a doctors appointment scheduled for this afternoon and had comp time to cover my missed work. I left the office and I got in my car and I just sat there, paralyzed. And God whispered into my heart the song that, ironically, I was singing on the way back to the office from lunch just an hour and a half before...

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Most of you know that old hymn... do you know the story behind it? It was written by Horacio Spafford in 1873 and according to ....

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm

This hymn was writ­ten af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the great Chi­ca­go Fire of Oc­to­ber 1871, which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Short­ly af­ter, while cross­ing the At­lan­tic, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, the Ho­ly Spir­it in­spired these words. They speak to the eter­nal hope that all be­liev­ers have, no mat­ter what pain and grief be­fall them on earth.

I called and cancelled my doctors appointment. I started praying... crying... crying out to God... telling Him that I trust Him but I don't understand... begging him to change HER heart... to fill her with love and compassion for her children... to realize what her *risk* will cost her children... praying that God would give her wisdom to see the things that I couldn't see, until it was too late. Praying that God would heal my friend's heartache...

My friend, my precious, wonderful friend who has walked beside me through the greatest heartache of my life... he is feeling the ripple effect of choices that my husband and his wife made... and I don't understand... I don't know how it is that the ones who cause the hurt suffer the least... and the most innocent ones suffer the greatest loss... I don't understand any of this... but I still believe that God is good.

When I was in the deepest pit, my sweet sister in law sent me this verse from Jeremiah...

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

When I went to www.biblegateway.com to copy the verse from Isaiah that touched me today... I found that the above verse was the passage of the day on that website... but not just that one verse that strengthened my heart... it continues...

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”- Jeremiah 29:12-13

I had to lose everything before I could humble myself enough to seek him. But in that desolation, in that time of heartbreak... He. Was. There. He made a way. He brought me through. He gave me hope. He gave me a future. He made me able to wake up, get out of bed, function, focus... He filled my life with amazing people and you... yes, you... my sweet friend... my treasured friend... you are one of those people who propped me up when I didn't have the strength to stand. You held my hand, even if only over the phone, you listened, you cared, you wiped my tears, you reminded me who I am and helped me see the strength in me that I had forgotten.

The only thing I can tell you, the only advice I can give is to seek Him with all your heart. God is still good.

5 comments:

Missie said...

Have a good day tomorrow.

Mary said...

This is beautiful, Heather. I love you.

Myra said...

Amen, sister!

Tina said...

this is a beautiful entry. I believe you may have a future in a ministry of your own.
hugs
tina

Jeanne said...

Being one of the "mother hen's" of the past (now a "blogger babe" lol) my question is, as it always is...concern for you and your health and well being. So my question is...why did you cancel your doctors appt?? (I don't even know what the appt is for, but you shouldn't cancel those appts!!)

Once a mother, always a mother....

Jeanne