My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

random Wednesday / thankful Thursday combo

I am sometimes just amazed at the incredible fullness of my life... and amazed at the simple things that - to other people would seem so mundane - but from my perspective are just precious.

(these observations are not chronological)
After dinner last night Jamie wanted to draw on the whiteboard in the fellowship hall. There were no markers. I pulled out my scripture memory cards from my purse and told her she could write on the back. What did she want to draw? A picture of her mommy! She can write her name (backwards J, backwards E, but she's 4) and she wrote some more letters after her name. "What does it say Jamie?" "Mommy loves Jamie" and she gave it to her mom. On the back of this card from Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery".

It was time for Jamie to go to her class but she wanted to finish her picture. Angie (she's back from her trip! yay!) took baby Elizabeth to the nursery for Michelle, who is 5 months pregnant and had a rough day (locked her keys in her car - which is a bad day for anyone but when you have five kids with you and are five months pregnant and late for church... stress!). So I sat with Jamie while she finished... took her to class... was rewarded with "just one more kiss!"... "Wait, Aunt Heather, one more kiss!" "Now... just one more kiss!"... I love this baby girl!

And then Michelle's son Eli, who is 5, blocked the door for me to get out of their classroom. He said, "you've got to say the password!" You should know that Eli's daddy is a graduate of Florida State. Other than that, they're really wonderful people... but Eli has been raised as a Seminole... and he takes umbrage at my Gatorism. Password... "Go Gators!"... "No... " he laughs. He's adorable... blonde hair, green eyes (I think they're green)... I used all the typical passwords that kids use... "open sesame"... "let me go"...."Please"... "Jesus loves you"... and Eli said, "It's something about Florida State... and something about Go".... so I said, "Go Florida State" *eyeroll*.... he collapsed in giggles, "You said Go Florida State, ha! You're a Seminole fan!".

I bought the girls little purses and filled them with the things that girls have in their purse... lotion, bandaids, pens, gum... I gave them little scripture cards like I carry and wrote on one, "I thank my God every time I remember you". Phillipians 1:3. Sarabeth can read... she read it out loud... and then she grinned her fabulous toothless jack'o'lantern grin! So worth the cost of the little purse and little treasures inside!

I woke up with a cold. This is not good.

Jeanne - no worries - this Dr appt was a med check to talk about whether or not we want to start weaning me off blood pressure meds and the welbutrin. I am probably ready to come off one but not the other. I have seen a doctor at least four times in between the time this appt was set and the time I missed it. They are totally following up on my meds and it's only been about two weeks since the last doctor said... "not yet" about the welbutrin. I *could* come off the bp meds because my blood pressure has been awesome ever since I've been here... but the bp meds also prevent migraines and I'm enjoying not having migraines like I used to. I'll reschedule and see them within the next month. As good as I'm doing and as good as I feel, there are still times that I am completely immobilized by things... like Tuesday... and so I know I need that little extra layer of stability for now.

Rain is on the way... I'll be a curly girl for the next few days.

Yesterday was Gus' last day at our office. He's opening his own agency for another carrier. I adore Gus but he was always sort of on his own schedule... would run out in the middle of the afternoon to go to walmart... get a haircut... whatever moved him. And that's great... but it would sometimes leave us shorthanded. He is one of those people who really needs to be his own boss. So... I think we'll be ok without him. I'm wondering if since there's an office open, if Duane is going to leave me in the lobby... I do enjoy being there, to some degree... I am meeting a lot of clients that way. I don't enjoy being treated like a receptionist by people who have far less knowledge and experience than me.... but that's an issue of my pride more than anything. It always amuses me when someone in a big office has to have my help doing something basic like posting a payment. It happens almost daily. Sometimes I'm really a brat about these things...

I've been trying to focus on Whose I am much more than I focus on who I am. I'm also trying to focus on what my purpose is instead of what attention I can draw to myself.

I am doing this Beth Moore Bible Study on Breaking Free. The way it works, we do five days of independent study, come together to discuss our answers and then watch a one hour video of Beth speaking on that week's lesson. In last night's video Beth was discussing her first book signing... she was humbled by the thought that anyone would want her signature on anything... but they couldn't find a place in the little bookstore for her to sign. They set her up out on their patio with a big fifty gallon trash can with a lid for her to use as her desk. Every time she bent down to sign, she would smell the trash. She said as she was signing, the Holy Spirit was reminding her... "I am the lid"... the only thing keeping her from being in that trash can again/still. She was never the trash... but without the power of the Holy Spirit in her life... she would still be deep in that can. Whoa! I could sooo relate!

We also talked about the Samaritan woman... the woman at the well... and the part where Jesus asks her to go get her husband and she answers, "I have no husband" ... and Jesus responds... "You have had five husbands and the man who you are now with is not your husband". I cringed a bit. Beth talked compassionately about what this woman must have been seeking... and wondered what it was that drove her through so many relationships... was she so needy that even men who loved her were unable to fill her needs? was she making bad choices? was she trying to fill a place that only God could fill? Beth said it more succinctly and I can't remember word for word to quote her directly but one thing she said resonated with me... "Stop trying to make your man your God. Let him off the hook. Let your mama off the hook. Let your kids off the hook. They will never be able to fill the empty places in your heart that only God can fill".

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Remember my long series of pondering the verse about being "fearfully and wonderfully made" ? I had a great conversation with a friend on Facebook about that last night and it gave me a lot of insight. I'll share that with you later because it's now time to glam and go!

Have a beautiful day! Love and hugs!

4 comments:

Tina said...

great entry. And I love the part about stopping making your man your God. Very good way of looking at it.
take care
tina

rwdrake said...

Heather Writes: "I've been trying to focus on Whose I am much more than I focus on who I am. I'm also trying to focus on what my purpose is instead of what attention I can draw to myself."

Hmmm... I don't see you as 'drawing attention to yourself' and, at least in my conception of you, don't really remember you that way either...

Deciding to whom you wish to belong does however, imply some self consideration... and there is nothing wrong with that.

Consider that the choice to be faithful and reverent is, perhaps, all the more honorable when you mare making the choice not out of need, but from a place of strength when you turn to the divine and say, "What together might we make in the world"?

You are strong and get to be strong within yourself. That you feel divine blessing and guidance serves as an opportunity.

The power of choice is a tremendous power. It will define you. It will measure you. These include both the choices you make and the choices you don't.

The Galatians quote is very much on point here. You are free. I think you consider yourself saved, yes? If so, then be confident. Seek to belong where you create bounty that pleases you and divorce yourself from those situations that led to your inbility to find the wisdom and don't be afraid.

It's not that you will be divinely provided for, it's that you have been given the divine gift of the tools the make wise decision for yourself!

Right?

Jeanne said...

LOL....ok, just checking to make sure you didn't miss an important Dr appointment! I totally understand the need, some days, to just say "I CANNOT DO IT TODAY!" I have days like that myself. As long as you are following up, that's what matters.

Jeanne

moshell's lilbit of space said...

THANK YOU for these words this morning Heather. I needed to read them.


Michele