tuesday brain mush

It’s Tuesday afternoon and I’m experiencing a bad case of brain mush which is entirely different from burnout. It’s been a pleasant day – despite the blinding bright sunshine and the heat – I mean, our office is air conditioned to the point that you could hang meat in here so the weather outside only bothers me when I go outside. I’m doing Ginger’s job again as she’s out of work again. It’s not particularly painful but it’s not commissionable and I do count on commissions. Of course, God continues to provide for us, so who am I to worry? And, of course, I am wasting time typing up a blog entry, so who am I to complain? I do things faster than the average bear. I type faster. I complete tasks faster. It comes from being lazy. Lazy people always devise the best shortcuts… er… most productive methods. But I am juggling a bit.

Anyways… the brain mush… I’ve got this sinus/allergy thing lurking and I’ve been taking allegra or whatever that stuff is called, the prescription strength, and it works wonderfully, keeping my ears from being fluidy (no, that’s not a real word) and keeping my nose from running. I can tell the allegra is keeping it at bay because when it wears off, I’m fluidy and runny. But the allegra is sort of a stimulant and when it starts to taper off, about this time of the day, I’m super sleepy and the brain mush begins. And, of course, not that I’m complaining, but juggling my agent responsibilities with the receptionist responsibilities creates a bit of mush as well. Asking too much of the gray matter.

Of course, if I emptied the gray matter of inconsequential things like how much the cat should be eating and what the latest on Jon and Kate is and how long until the end of the day, I could probably focus more on the day. It’s just an A.D.D. “there goes a squirrel” kind of disconnected day for me. Written on the top of my right hand – my thought for the day – is “greeting cards”. We have some super lame ones here at the office. I have a big box of them at home. I’m going to donate mine. It’s embarrassing signing my name to these that we have here. Also… I always remember occasions that are card-worthy while I’m sitting here at my desk having my squirrel chasing moments and completely blank out at home. Which is why, Mary, that your birthday card may arrive sometime around labor day at the rate I’m going. I’m lousy at correspondence. Thank goodness for blogger and facebook – otherwise I’d be operating in a complete vacuum. Smoke signals – “I’m alive”. The occasional text message. A random email, if I’m feeling chatty. Once in a blue moon I’ll chat online. Most of the time – I just don’t wanna. It’s not that I’m unsociable. It’s that I’m either multi-tasking or anti-tasking. Most evenings I’m anti-tasking.

I went to Jim and Angie’s on lunch to feed the cat. They’re at the beach – Myrtle Beach! I heated up my lean cuisine lasagna and sat and had a peaceful, quiet lunch. I also had a yogurt and fruit but I didn’t have time to eat it so I stored it in their fridge for my next trip to feed the cat. I store all my important reminders in my outlook calendar here at the office. We all open everyone’s calendars so that we can set appointments for others, know who’s in the office when. Duane had some clients in the office this morning who were looking over his shoulder at what they thought was his calendar and they asked, “who is princess and why do you have to feed her?” At least if I disappear, people have an idea of where I was heading on lunch.

One of our church members stopped by this morning regarding her insurance. She’s an older widowed woman, precious and sweet. She loves my brother. She thinks Angie is the best worship leader we’ve ever had and wonders why the church just doesn’t hire her (because she is also a college professor and mother of two small children and can’t take on another full time job, that’s why) and she went on to talk about what songs she likes singing in church and which she doesn’t. What I love about older people is that they usually say what everyone else is thinking but is too polite to say.

I just had a loan approved and the client wants to accept it which will pay for one of the days that I miss work due to my wisdom teeth! Yeehaw! God is good.

My co-worker, Kevin’s wife is pregnant. She has had many miscarriages, the last one was earlier this year at about 8 weeks. She’s now 15 weeks with this pregnancy. She went to the doctor today and things are looking really good. I’m anxious for them, I know they really want this baby. They’re on my morning prayer list, that God would let that baby just stay put for now! Nine more weeks to some measure of viability. It’s going to be a long summer for them. They’re both in their 40’s… have been trying for awhile… this would be their first baby. Pretty amazing.

I know there are a lot of Kate-haters out there but my heart really broke for Kate Gosselin last night. She may have – in Jon’s words – “ruled the roost” – too much but he let her! I don’t agree with taking anyone for granted but – nobody is perfect. For every single one of Michael’s stupid complaints about me, I had a dozen about him, but you know what? I loved him. I would have remained faithful to him for the rest of my life. I would have made sure his shirts were on the right kind of mommy dearest hangars, facing the right way in the closet until death we did part. I think that’s all part of being in a grown up, committed relationship, accepting each other’s shortcomings, encouraging one another, bearing each other’s burdens. I get so torqued about men – or anyone – who walks away when things get difficult. Work on things. Love each other enough to make some effort.

There’s a situation close to me right now where someone I care very much about is going through some of the same icky things that I did… finding an incriminating cellphone bill… the hurtful words… the abandonment… the fear of the future… where will she live, where will she work, who will be there to help her when the toilet is stopped up or the car won’t start… I just literally ache watching her go through it. It’s like reliving my own stuff. Yet, in a way, it’s a yardstick. I can measure how far I’ve come. I still go through moments of insecurity. Ok, hours maybe. I don’t feel alone though. I’m not bitter. There are times the whole rejection piece of things stings but for the most part, I can look at it as his loss. After all, we know that I am a GREAT girl!

Our auto quoting system is not working right today. I’m working around it… it’s just not giving me credit reports or motor vehicle reports. The solution I came up with is submitting applications non-bound, meaning there’s no exchange of money and therefore no exchange of promise. It’s sort of a free look. That way… I can hopefully get an answer tomorrow and bind coverage. I’m closing my loan in the morning.

And time is ticking by this afternoon. Have to email my underwriter and tell her what I’m doing. She’s great.

Wondering what’s on tv tonight that’s worth watching and thinking that my butt is getting sore. Better get up and walk around a bit. Have a great afternoon. Love and hugs, y’all!