Ready to play good news/bad news?
The good news is that my CT scan didn’t show any kidney stones.
The bad news is that there is no easily recognizable reason for me to have blood in my urine.
So the next step is to figure out why.
Here’s the thing – I’m so done with doctors and specialists and being probed and microwaved and examined.
I’m mildly uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s more than mild. It’s lingered for a week or so.
But I’m gonna let this one go unless it gets worse.
I’m gonna work harder at exercise, eat better and just let it go.
I can’t go through another round of doctors this year. I can’t.
I’m obviously not in any grave danger because there was nothing ugly or scary in the CT scan.
In the past year I’ve been scanned from head to toe and what we’ve learned is that I have globs of scar tissue in my lungs that won’t hurt me – unless I get sick.
I’ve got a cyst in my sinuses that won’t hurt me unless it gets bigger.
I’m oozing blood in places that shouldn’t be bleeding.
And… well. That’s just how it’s gonna have to be.
I am not missing any more work or spending any more money on guessing games or diagnostic dominos or pharmaceutical patty cake. Done. Over it. Through.
I’ll live or I’ll die.
Trying to feel better has only made me feel worse.
End of subject.
I went to have lunch with Sarabeth today. She has been the line leader this week which is a HUGE deal when you’re in first grade and I promised to have lunch with her while she was line leader. This was the first day I could actually take lunch. She was soooo excited to see me!
Michael had this really crass joke he used to make about how mentally handicapped people and dogs are always glad to see you. He used to say that he wanted to keep those on hand so he’d always be welcomed home.
I’m thinking maybe if he wasn’t such a jerk he’d be welcomed home.
My nieces are the smartest kids I know and they’re always glad to see me.
I had to pry Sarabeth away when it was time to go.
We had a great time. I let her drink my tea so she felt special.
The kids in her class call me “Aunt Heather”. That makes me feel special.
I’m so relieved knowing that I don’t have a rock in my gut that’s fixing to cut loose.
I haven’t talked much about Tiger Woods but I will say this: successful men (in my experience) tend to think they are ten feet tall and bullet proof and live under a different set of rules from the rest of the world. That’s called narcissism.
I don’t feel bad for them when something happens to make them more… mortal.
In fact, I kinda like it.
I still have that credit card in my possession… and no, I won’t use it… but it’s fun thinking of things to use it for…
A vet visit for the cat…
To help Dean catch up on his child support so he doesn’t have to spend Christmas in jail…
A lot of Starbucks gift cards…
Repairing the trunk of my car where Michael intentionally rammed into it causing it to allow rain to leak in a give my car a constant musty smell…
I don’t know… any of the things I think he has cost me.
Just thinking about doing it makes me feel vindicated.
That greedy heifer (Dean’s ex-wife and the woman who alienated my husband’s affection aka Dirty Jersey) had over $7000 in her checking account and was suing her husband because he was behind by $340 and some random camp fees.
I’m owed over $30,000 and have nothing in my checking account and I have too much concern for the well-being and future of my childrens’ father to throw him in jail.
Guess that’s the difference between me and Dirty Jersey.
I have a conscience.
Dear Elin: find a good doctor and have yourself tested for herposyphogonoritis and anything else you might have been exposed to by your cheating husband. And sue the golf clubs off of him if you have anything!
At least for me it was just one.
That I know of.
And really… how do these super smart men leave such a stupid electronic trail? Do they WANT to get caught or do they just think they’re above it?
Or, like mine… do they just not care?
When he called the other day to make sure I was ok with our upcoming court proceedings – and I answered, “no, that this is not what I wanted”… he answered that “nobody wants to be divorced”.
Well. That sort of misses the point. Nobody wants to be cheated on.
I guess as a Catholic that the divorce is the bigger disgrace for him.
Did you know that Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn never married because he would never divorce his first wife because he was Catholic?
I guess there’s a spiritual disconnect for me there… ok to commit adultery but not ok to divorce?
Anyways… the Friday countdown is on… Less than 5 hours to go.
I think we’re gonna make it.
I am planning to work tomorrow to make up some hours, long as I’m able.
Sorry if this is a little more bitter than usual toward my very soon to be ex-husband and his mistress.
Just a little raw with those upcoming proceedings and with all the Tiger Woods stuff in the media.
I hate cheating men and the women who cheat with them. It’s an epidemic that is destroying the fabric of our society and it is soooo not worth it.
And when I think about it… I get aggravated.
However, from the other side of my personality… I’m very happy because I closed a car loan yesterday which brings me a nice bonus to help make up for some of the time I’ve missed from work.
And now… I need to get focused on what I’m s’posed to be doing.
Have a great Friday and a great weekend, y’all.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Ready to play good news/bad news?
Posted by Heather at 12:52 PM