My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

it could happen...and here's why

I just might do it today...
I might, quite possibly hit my ten percent weight loss goal.
I'm right there at that one pound that I need to hit the ten percent and I haven't finished all my morning... rituals, shall we say? I think it will be slightly lower before I leave in 2 and a half hours. That's why.

I need this in such a bad way this weekend. I would so love to be able to remember this time of year as the anniversary of the time I hit my first ten percent weight loss goal... instead of the other dark things.
Because, as we discussed yesterday, looking back is not a good thing. That's why.

Ten percent is just this first goal... after that I'll set another ten percent goal... which will take me to 175 pounds. Still obese, friends. That's why... I have a long way to go to be at a healthy weight that I can maintain for the rest of my life.

After that I'll set another ten percent... to 158... which, just for frame of reference... is what I weighed when I made my fabulous journey to NYC in 2006. Can you believe it's been almost five years since then? Can I just tell you how much I'm itching to get back? Can I just tell you how truly blessed I am to have found a sister-friend there in New York. I never imagined that my little brother... ten years younger... would bring a lady into our lives who would become such a strong force in my life. I rarely go more than two days without hearing from Candice. She encourages me, shares tips with me, prods me along. Of my four brothers' significant others... there are two that I haven't heard from in years... there's one that I see at least once a week and who checks in with me as often as she can but she leads a crazy busy life... and there's Candice who is really involved in this process with me. Two sisters who serve as my support group. That's one reason why it could happen.

I had a dream last night about Purple Michael. I dreamed that we were on a train together - like a subway or a commuter train - and I was comforted by knowing he was there in case anything happened to me but he didn't see me there. I kept trying to get his attention and he couldn't see me. Like... so close but yet so far. Maybe symbolic of the fact that he's been in Georgia this week but soooo, sooo busy that he couldn't possibly make the trip up here to the mountains and I was soooo soooo busy that I couldn't possibly take a day off to drive to where he is. I had been thinking about him yesterday, I know that's why I dreamed about him. I'm so excited that he's going to be here the whole month of December... and even though he's gonna be working, I can hang out there while he works and just soak up as much of him as possible. That's why... I need to be healthy and energetic enough to cram a few trips to Stone Mountain into my life in December.

And I want to have lost enough weight before he leaves to go back to Chicago that I can take another set of those super hot pictures that he took for me (almost) 5 years ago. I was about 160-165 pounds then... and they're gorgeous. I'm so glad I took those pictures then... they're slightly naughty... nothing pornographic and you can't SEE anything, there's just that sort of hint of... sexy... and I never in my whole life felt that confident about myself. That's why...

One of my guy friends asked if I was going to have another set of those pictures made... said he's ready for a new set. *snicker* I'm a pinup girl! That's why it could happen...

When I was at my lowest point, I had to really focus on the things that mattered to me, my reasons for living. Two of those reasons were my nieces, Jamie and Sarabeth. And those same reasons for living are my reasons for living well. They emulate me... they do the things I do.... little Jamie is a mini-me. If I stick my arm out the car window to feel the cool wind rush by as I'm driving... she does the same thing (this really happened). I want them to be strong, beautiful, healthy women... and one way that can happen is by having them grow up with strong, beautiful, healthy women as role models... their mommy, their Aunt Mimi and their Aunt Heather. It's a responsibility I have toward them.

After those next two ten percents... which will take me to 158... then I'll focus on that last 21 pounds to goal. At my current rate of weight loss... just a little over a pound a week average... I should be at goal in October 2011. It's a long journey ahead... but I'm focused... I'm determined... I'm loving this, loving the success, loving the food that I'm eating, I'm loving saving money by not eating out and I really believe it could happen. Not just ten percent... but the whole deal... at goal I will have lost 36% of my body weight! Can you imagine what a difference that will make on my joints... heart... lungs?

Today Austin and I are supposed to go to an informational meeting about a student travel program he's been invited to participate in. He's going to have a major meltdown because after much consideration and investigation... I've decided we're not going. I found several complaints about this company online... problems with kids being overseas and having medical issues or behavioral issues and there being no assistance from the company. If any kid WOULD have a problem, it would be Austin... and I would be less prepared than anyone to get to him or get him home in an emergency. The risk is too huge, the price is too high. If he really wants to travel overseas, our church offers several missions opportunities and I'm sure they would help raise funds for him to go. Austin won't like it... but I just have to exercise parental caution and keep him safe.

As a consolation... I'm taking him to North Georgia BBQ. Think that will work?

Time for me to glam and get ready for my weigh in... wish me luck!

2 comments:

Adirondackcountrygal said...

Maybe I should start a weight loss blog, help me stay accountable! I have finally gone over the 200 lb mark and I am not happy!

mmmbrown625 said...

The fact that Austin may have a meltdown when you tell him you aren't going to the meeting is reason enough to not allow him to go on the trip. He just may not be ready for something like this. What group is it? Natalie has been invited for the last couple of years to go with a group and it sounded awfully expensive to go ~ I wondered just how legit it was. Good luck with your weigh-in! Oh yeah, I see you didn't add "and a trip to Alabama for Christmas" ~ looks like I'm going to have to work on you for that one!