thankful thursday

Well... I'm gonna go to the doctor this morning and let her test me for strep. Yesterday I had that really raw strep like feeling... and I decided that although it pains me to spend money on doctor visits, it's irresponsible of me to deal with the general public when I may be contagious. So I'm going to bite the bullet and go. Hopefully I'll get an all clear and be on my way into to the office bright and early. It's hard to judge illness since I'm stronger than I used to be.

On the way home to change and head to church yesterday afternoon I realized that I might have strep... based on symptoms and such... and I realized that I probably shouldn't go love and hug on my babies there. SOoooo... not having dinner planned... since our usual Wednesday night supper is at church... and really wanting something warm and soothing... I decided to make soup. I really didn't feel up to a major cooking event so... I went by the salad bar and picked up some already prepared veggies... spinach, carrots, mushrooms... with a little diced chicken... and picked up two cans of low point chicken noodle soup... and tossed all of that in a pan together for dinner. It was thicker and healthier than regular canned soup... and it was ready in fifteen minutes. It's not my ideal... I would much rather cook from scratch and have greater control of the sodium content... but I was proud of myself to making canned soup healthier and heartier. PLUS... I have at least two more servings saved in the fridge.

The axis of evil has struck Poor Dean again. He's lost more of his visitation with the kids. I don't have all the details and I've really not sought them out. I love him and my heart breaks for him but the less I know of the destruction those two cause, the happier I am. I just need to keep as much distance from them as possible. I kinda see things this way... when you make your bed with snakes, eventually you'll get bit. With whatever hatred your partner goes after her last partner... she will eventually turn that toward you. And vice versa... if your new partner is encouraging you to do evil against someone else, think about what must be in their character to seek the destruction of another human. Certainly, there is a lack of compassion, a lack of respect for the parent/child relationship, a lack of remorse for their own evil actions. I'm so blessed to be outside the reach of that evil. I pray daily for those who are unable to get away...

It's a small world... I got a facebook message yesterday from a Junior High school friend who thought she might have been in an elevator with Purple Michael (who lives in Chicago) in a Fayetteville, Georgia hospital last week. It turns out... it really was Michael! What totally cracked me up was that she recognized him and referred to him as Purple Michael... he's famous in my blog! Or infamous... hmmm.... I made mention of his sexual orientation last week to someone and they were disappointed that he wasn't a potential mate for me... "you make such a cute couple..."... we always have and we always will... in some ways he's much better than a potential mate because we love each other unconditionally. We know each other's failures and shortcomings and choose to love each other anyways.

I had a talk with a friend this week about unconditional love... I think it's the most amazing gift you could possibly give. I can promise you only one thing about myself: at some point I will disappoint you. It will almost certainly be unintentional but it will most certainly happen. I'm human that way. I'm lazy, selfish, stubborn, obnoxious... but those traits also make me relaxed, understanding, loyal... and I think it's a rare, precious soul who can understand that your flaws are also your strengths.

They're canning tomatoes at the farm this week. I asked if they would sell them and got an invitation to come can with them and share in the bounty! How exciting! Of course... I have this pesky full time job that keeps me from enjoying such domestic pursuits but it's exciting to have the prospect of learning these things. I think I want to be that old southern lady with a little cabin in the woods, a few tomato plants and a few cats... who can grow and preserve the bulk of my own sustainance. I'm so grateful for our little duplex but eventually, I want my own little home.

My weight is up slightly today. My points have been lower this week but I did have the soup yesterday - huge amount of sodium. My last three weigh ins have been losses of 2.8 pounds, 1.8 pounds and 1.8 pounds... i'm prepared for a fluctuation... a mini-plateau... even perhaps a small gain this week. I'm staying the course, of course, but I know that I won't have these big losses week after week all the way thru to goal. Being mentally prepared for a less than stellar scale victory helps me.

Sooooo... this thursday I'm thankful for... the ability to get affordable healthcare, good food, unconditional love, Purple Michael, the farm, healthy weight loss perspective and being in a happy, healthy state of mind. AND THE WINDOW IS IN! No more construction at the office! It looks fabulous and I'm glad we did it- although Kev no longer has a man cave - it's a real office now. Happy day, y'all!