My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Saturday, January 31, 2009

better blogging

I've decided the problem is not that there aren't enough hours in the day, the problem is that there is not enough me to go around. I used to joke during my last "season" of being a single mother that I didn't care to ever marry again (wish I'd stuck to that!) because I didn't need a man in my life... but I did need a wife. I still feel that way! There are so many things I needed to do last week and couldn't because of not feeling well/needing to be at work every minute I could to make up for time lost from work when I was NOT feeling well enough to work. There is potentially bad weather headed our way next week... so I have to squeeze in as many hours as I can around that too... and have to miss half a day on Tuesday to get the CT scan done.

One of the lasting impacts that Michael has had on my life, moving me - as he put it - "around like a chess piece" - is that although I have worked for the same company for six years, I have worked in four different agencies. Therefore I have no sick leave or vacation time. In some ways, that feels unfair to me because my boss benefits from my longevity with the company by not having to train me or spend money getting me licensed... but I don't benefit for my "brand loyalty". However, the economy being as it is... factoring in that I don't have a consistent job record over the past few years... I feel blessed to have a job. Even one that won't provide time off for the first year. It is what it is. I'd rather have a job with no time off than no job at all.

I do have the opportunity to earn a week off and airfare to New York City if I meet my sales goals for the year. Those are pretty stiff goals but I'm determined. The real prize was a cruise and I was less than enthusiastic because... well, seasickness. So I was allowed to choose my prize and that's what I picked! This means that I can crash on Bryan and Candice's couch and wander the city for a few days... enjoy some theatre with Bryan and some opera with Candice! I've got to get serious about sales because the commissions and rewards for sales make a real difference in my income. So all you Peaches who have been putting off buying life insurance, give me a call. I can sell anywhere in the state of Georgia and am willing to travel to any part of the state to complete a sale!

Confession: I'm crunching on someone, big time! There is this guy... we've been talking a lot. We have a lot in common. We had a lunch date scheduled last week but I was in no shape to make a first impression on anyone. I knew him in school... or knew of him, I should say... so he's legit. He's not some random person that I met on... oh, for instance, ... he seems like a good egg. I gave him all the prerequisite disclaimers - I'm not as thin as I once was, I've been sick a lot in the past year, I've had a really screwed up marriage that is not yet dissolved, I am a bit fragile... or he said, "broken"... and I'm still working through the emotional damage that was inflicted on me by a man who didn't understand the meaning of commitment. I'm jaded. I have trust issues. I don't accept compliments from a man because Michael started off with tons of honey... and as soon as I was hooked, changed over to vinegar.

Last night he and I stayed up late chatting on facebook... and my friend A.T. stayed up late chatting with a guy she's crunching on- also from our school years... and we giggled like school girls comparing notes. Who knows where any of this will go for either of us... pictures of A.T. and me at the beach last summer... she's been my friend for... nearly thirty years! She's gone thru a bit of heartache herself over the past month or so. We certainly would have never chosen to be in this Lonely Hearts Club together... but it's nice to have a friend who "gets it".

Stubby the 3Legged Wondercat is glued to me again today. He is using my foot for a pillow. He was mad at me last night because I wouldn't let him sleep in my room. I get tired of him licking me. It grosses me out. I mean... his full name is Stubby the 3Legged Buttlickin Toilet Drinking Wondercat... who knows what kind of bacteria lurks in his sandpaper tongue?

Drew Peterson's woman has left him. Pity. I think guys like him deserve to be alone.

Today's Proverb is the 31st chapter. A long part of the chapter outlines attributes of a woman of noble character. It's a beautiful passage, if you've never seen it, I encourage you to go to and check it out. One beautiful verse in it says this: Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I don't get roman numerals. XLIII? Is that the number of this Superbowl? I'm really not invested in the process this time, although normally I'm a sports fan.

My dear Mr. Drake has steered me toward an attorney who can help with the divorce process. Unfortunately, I can't file until March 26 - I have to have been a resident of the State of Georgia for six months before filing. I wouldn't dare try to fudge those dates because I want this process to be entirely legal. The advice I've gotten thus far has been to file myself, file in Georgia where I can list the grounds of the divorce as adultery - in Florida there are only two grounds available: mental illness or irreconcilable differences. I want the public record to clearly reflect what actually happened. I have also been advised to seek restoration for the damages (things like making less, not having sick leave or vacation because of relocating twice for him) and protect myself from his "liabilities".

The thing is that I feel better today than I've felt in a long time - emotionally, anyway! The stupid ear thing is still giving me fits. That letter didn't hurt me, it healed me. It reminded me what a cad he is. He couldn't even come up with original material! He's recycling the same tired lines! I feel less duped now knowing that someone as intelligent as her could fall - and give up the important things in her life, the same way I did. I laughed my way through it... it's pathetic to me. It doesn't hurt. It validates the suspicions I had. It validates my decision to leave him. It validates all my accusations about the two of them. I'm good. Ten feet tall and bullet proof.

Time to glam and start my Saturday. Much to do. My house is a wreck. Austin is slacking on his chores, I have to crack the whip. I need to make a grocery run since we've been living on the "bounty of the pantry" all week. I've got bills to pay, laundry to do, etc, etc. Life goes on!

love and hugs! thanks for your encouragement!


sober white women said...

Oh the joys of life. I just wish sometimes that we did not have to do all of our stuff that we could just stay in our happt place and leave the laundry for someone else! LOL

Tina of Moon Shine said...

I am glad the letter did not hurt you. and I also glad you have gotten some legal advice, although, I would not put your findings on here. just some advice from someone that has "been there and done that"

poor I wonder why he does the licking thing? james does it when he is hungry. at night, I make sure he has food in his dish so that he doesn't bug me.

have a great day

Anonymous said...

Talk to Courtney. She is unlikely to be your eventual attorney of record, but she's good and can help you get started.

Being ready ahead of time, before you file, with all your discovery propoerly in order, knowing what you want, and having done the calculations (which in this state are REALLY complicated... And Court used to run them for a judge) will help you.

Then, two months from now, when it's time to file, you can.

Courtney can also get some data for you that you'll need.

Do as much as you can with her and then when she advises it, hire the top flight matrimonial attorney to represent you as truthfully as possible.

Myra said...

Seems there is always something to do! Its all falling into place. The letter was dispicable - they deserve each other.