broccoli and cheese soup is the new ketchup

Some entries just write themselves... Austin and I journeyed into civilization today to find a Costco and had lunch at Golden Corral (this is a treat, y'all!). He's always had the strangest eating habits... but today he actually took the skin off a piece of fried chicken and dipped it in his broccoli and cheese soup. I could hardly believe my eyes... but yep... that fried piece of fat... right into that ooey gooey soup. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong with eating it this way?" I don't know, son. After all, broccoli and cheese soup is the new ketchup!

I had hoped to run into my friend today while I was out and about and he was in between jobs but I had second (and third and fourth) thoughts about introducing anyone new into Austin's life. He suggested that I split up from Austin for a few minutes to say hello and I really, REALLY was uncomfortable with that.... I know he's about to be 15 in one VERY SHORT month... but he's my baby... and he's a total flake... and his nickname is Lost-in... I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone for a second. Then I realized that I had never really discussed the whole Austin issue with this guy... that's a big disclaimer, isn't it?

For some reason, Austin was in the mood to talk today and I just let him run with it. Three hours walking the mall with mom is a great time to get things off your chest. The things he told me just made me want to weep... but I'm glad he's saying what he needs to say... it helped me and I know it will help him. He has asked to go stay with Dean for a few days to "take care of business"... "and, mom, can I take my b.b. gun?" That would be a - sure, you can hang with Dean whenever you like, and no, you can not take the b.b. gun with you. Austin said, "but I owe him one... not just for the way he hurt me, but the way he hurt you...".

Austin also told me that he was terrified the day after I overdosed when it was suggested that he stay in Jacksonville with Michael so that he wouldn't miss any school. He couldn't stay there. His education could wait for the two weeks that it took to get me well, settled and moved to the mountains. He has done an amazing job here at the White County Ninth Grade Academy. He loves it. His teachers are wonderful. He has made a lot of friends. He's making good grades, excited about learning, turning assignments in, bringing home stuff - actually bringing it HOME to show me. It has been a very healthy move for him. Not that we don't both still have work to do... but this is definitely the life Austin and I were meant to live. Even if there are no decent restaurants open after 8pm.

Funny that we finally have a chance to eat at a decent restaurant and we go to
Golden Corral. Oh well.

My Costco run was successful except for the fact that Austin wouldn't let me buy anything that was a staple in our house in Jax. No big pretzels. No blue crab dip. No jellie bellies. Not even bottled water "the water in Georgia tastes fine, mom!". I obliged. I've spent a lot of time focused on my healing. It's good for me to focus on his for a bit.

I thought we'd never get out of the house this morning. My phone rang off the hook! I had my usual calls from Dean... a call from my new crunch (btw, I know that the word is supposed to be "crush" but I like it better my way!)... a call from Bear... who had to track me down because I had never given him my home number! So bonus points for Barry for going the extra mile! He wants to plan to come up next weekend... and I would love for him to... it would be an awesome treat for me... but I will not be holding my breath or scrubbing my toilets.

I had to laugh, though, whatever happened to the girl who thought she'd be lonely without you know who in her life? My life is ten times fuller than it ever was with him. There are people in my life who actually WANT to talk to me rather than doing it out of obligation... and without arguing with me... or making me feel bad about myself... how much has my life changed? And I am so very grateful that it has. Life is good. God is good.

I got a second Valentine card today... two! And it's not even February yet! I'm going to be celebrating Singles Awareness Day the entire month of February and not even mind it! Especially with that big heart full of Russell Stover dark chocolate under my bed... that I'm enjoying... one... piece... at... a.... time!

I also got a beautiful note from my grandmother with the aforementioned monetary gift which will help tremendously. I am blessed. God has been so faithful to us... every time I start to get discouraged and feel like I can't do this alone... someone blesses us... it's an amazing thing to live through.

Austin has gotten so swift at sampling at Costco that he can now do it without even breaking his pace... while pushing the cart... I was impressed! I wasn't sampling much today because we were still full from Golden Corral.

Another phone call... more later! Hugs!