My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

weighing in before the weigh in

Yesterday I got a facebook message from a guy who went to the same high school I did. I didn't know him... he graduated with my brother and likely our paths crossed but we never really interacted. He told me that I didn't need to lose weight, that I'm perfect the way I am (paraphrasing here...) ...

That's not the first message like that I've received. It's at LEAST the 4th. And... while I appreciate the sentiment behind the comment... it's just not the point. I'm not losing weight to find a guy. Conversely... any man who couldn't love me at any size isn't a man I'm interested in to start with. I dream of a guy who finds me beautiful, of course, what woman doesn't? But I also know that looks are fleeting... I need to be loved from the inside out, based on the content of my character, not on the outside appearance.

I'm losing weight because I'm living a half life. Pick up a 50lb bag of dog food (or flour or whatever) and go through your entire day carrying it. See how far you can walk... how many steps you can climb... see how quickly you tire out and have to sit down. I'm living in that fat suit, even now... I'm carrying that extra 50lbs on my body... even after dropping so much weight... there's still twice what I've lost to lose before I'm at a normal, healthy weight for my frame.

I have decided that any man who wants to date me must first read my blog. If he can get thru it, he might be able to put up with me because I blog the way I think, the way I speak, the way I live... sort of random, chaotic, extroverted, plain spoken, opinionated within a routine of sorts. It's all out there. I think it's a huge benefit to anyone who wants to know more about me. Not that I blog every thought that comes to my head... I've learned to censor some things to protect the innocent (and the guilty... ) but I'm pretty transparent here.

I'm reading a book written by Julia Child's assistant. She says that Julia was WYSIWYG. What you see is what you get. I think I'm much the same. No hidden agendas. Just me.

I'll be weighing in at weight watchers in about ten-fifteen minutes. Just have to straighten my hair and I'm out the door. I'm not sure about the results... I may stay the same. I'm weighing on my home scale exactly what I weighed last week but there's a slight variation between my scale and the WW one. We'll see. No stress either way. I ate dinner out last night and that inevitably, even though I was careful, it inevitably gives me a little bloat the next day. I also didn't have my usual morning ... ummmm... *routine*... because Austin had spend the night company last night and I didn't want to wake the kids up hearing me blow up a toilet. I'm jes' sayin'...

But... it is what it is... I'm still on track and feeling great about things. Be back later!

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