Bitty's World

Our usual Whiny Wednesday post has been replaced this week with a peek into the fabulous, luxurious world of my fur baby, Itty Bitty Ferocious Kitty... he's crazy about the electric blanket... he is either ON it or under it about 90% of the time...

that is... when he's not on my lap... or curled up with me in any way he can possibly think of....

My feet on the recliner with a blanket over my legs... creates the perfect cat hammock...

and it's not enough for him to lay with me... he has to hold onto me...

I usually drape the electric blanket over the back of the recliner - like a nice big heating pad - and leave part of it on the bed for the kitties to cuddle on... Bitty's favorite activity is to submarine Stubby while he's on the blanket... and Stubby's favorite game is to play whack a mole!

Bitty is my constant companion... if I'm on the potty... he's beside me nibbling toilet paper. If I'm in the shower... he's on the side of the tub watching... if I am cooking... he climbs on the counter to watch (until I put him down)... he helps me load the dishwasher... helps me pick out my clothes in the morning... helps me put on makeup... he even supervises when I brush my teeth!

I'm feeling better today. I have figured out that if I don't take any meds at all, I have pain but no nausea. The pain is taxing but it's better than the nausea. I have to go to work. I just have to. I'm worried sick about getting fired... worried sick about this one illness (ok, this illness on top of the strep throat and flu and bronchitis that I've had over the past three months) will completely change my life. I'm trying to trust God... I mean... I did ask Him to show me His power... and since then, I've spent a week in horrible pain, unable to eat, unable to work... yep. He's still God. Make no mistake.

And what have I learned? Well... I'll say that my perspective has changed quite a bit. I was expending a lot of energy trying to find Mr. Right... and after the past week, that seems so unimportant. What matters most is being healthy... having the strength to do the things I need to do in the course of the day... and keeping a roof over our heads. I remember the last Epic Kidney Infection like this... and even though I was married at the time... it was just as bad - actually, it was worse. Being single didn't make it any worse... and that's my greatest fear, being sick and alone. And...well... I'm not alone... and I guess... ultimately... when I'm healthy and able to work and take care of my kid, my life isn't that bad.

Someone asked me if I thought I'd ever find love again... "settle down" again... I think is how it was put. Well. No, honestly, I don't think I'll ever find love again... and I'm as settled as I think I'm ever going to be. I still want the little cabin in the woods that is mine - all mine - and I want to be here, in the mountains, with the people who make life worth living. If at some point, God saw fit to bring into my life a person who could respect and compliment the life I have, that's great. I'm just not going to waste any more time wishing my life away or searching for that person.

I'm gonna get a shower and go to work. I appreciate your prayers and good wishes... it's not going to be easy.